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When I was a youngster I always liked to listen to the old guys talk and to some of their favorite “sayings.”

One of my favorites was: My Grand Dad used to spend a lot of time in the local bar. Along about evening he would stand up (kind of wobbly) and say, “I’m gonna go home . . . if supper ain't ready, I’m gonna raise hell . . . if it is, I ain't gonna eat it.”

I sure loved that old man.

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Wife's great grandmother used to tell the "youngin's" when they weren't happy about what she had cooked that it was "better than a snowball".

Many oldtimers used to talk about the "bumpy suckers" and "crawly bottoms" down in the creek. They were talking about the sculpins and darters in the creek.

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Old timer at the club I started at used to say "If you shoot where it is you hit where it was, you gotta shoot where it's gonna be!

He also told me "Skeet is an easy game,If you don't miss you can't lose!"
Randy VanRyne (RIP) 8-17-10
 

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Years ago my dad would say "Damnit son keep your head down".Now I'm saying guys
wood to wood. Some things never change, just a different way of saying it. I would not change a thing and it's been fun. 40 years from now I hope they are saying, gosh darn it boy keep your head down. Glenn Allison
 

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Dad died when I was 2 left Mom with no money, no insurance or anything. We moved to the projects where I grew up. When my sisters or myself would wish for something mom would say " wish in one hand and shit in the other, see what you get first". She was a bitter widow. Bulge.
 

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Most manure consists of undigested material. OTOH, owl poop consists of UNDIGESTIBLE material like hair and bones.

If my paternal grandfather described something or someone was being "sorry as owl sh!t", it was the ultimate insult.
 

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At eighty years My Dad told me = Son, when your shot sack gets longer than your gun

It's time to call the dogs, cause the hunts over!!

Sure do miss him.
 

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"Dumb as a box of Rocks". My Wife says she's never heard of that one before. Is this common, or just from my neck of the woods??? Break-em all. Jeff
 

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My Mother had two favorites and she meant them both.

"Don't let your wants hurt you."

"Root, Hog, or die." She didn't have any sympathy for people who wouldn't work.
Me included.

Just remembered one from my Dad. If we were pestering him to go fishing when we were supposed to be working, he'd say, "Let the rag off the bush."
 

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Pull & Mark, I've heard that a lot in Wyoming.

My Dad once described someone to me as being "lazier than a cut dog".
 

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My mother passed away in February of this year at the young age of 91. She had two sayings that still live with me today.

If I loved to lie, I would hug your neck. The second; You make my ass crave stove wood. Please remember, when we lose a parent of that generation, we lose a library.

Dennis B. Groce
South Carolina
 

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Enough mouth for two sets of teeth!

All the iron in his blood changed to lead and settled in his butt.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
 

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My Dad would eat chicken feet and when asked how he could eat something like that, he said -

Everything's chicken but the bill and that's chicken still - you like eggs don't you!

He knew how to bring a smile to my face.
 

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"Slicker than greased Owl Shit"


"So damned lazy he'd marry a pregnant woman with 6 kids"


"Couldn't win a foot race with a fence post"


"Built like a brick shit-house"


"That dog will hunt"


"Slow as molasses in January"


"Ain't got two nickels to rub together nor a pot to piss in"


"Dumb as a stump"


"Smart like a bag of hammers"


"Nuttier than a squirrel turd"


My father was a walking plethora of useful analogies.
 

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Dad and gram pa saved their best ones for driving with idiots.

So slow you had to line him up with a fence post to see if he was moving.

Look out (she he) don't know if he is going to crap or wind his watch!

About as sharp as a pound of wet leather. PS herd it in a Foghorn cartoon years later.

He's got more crap than Mark Mayo, and he had all the honey dipping business in Clark County.

You could give him a enema and bury him in a shoe box.

It's just awful when cousins marry see what happens?

What did you do now? You are grinning like a cat crapping razor blades!

Keep it up and the next thing you know you won't know nothing(holding up his fist).

Go away I am busier than a two pecker'ed owl in a pissing contest Or busier than a one legged man in a ass kicking contest.

She's is so buck toothed she could eat corn through a picket fence.

Go out and play but this time don't eat the yellow snow.




Rock

Jim
 
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