When a speedloader lines up quickly and everything drops the way it's supposed to, it's quick. When I fumble one it's worse than useless. I find speed strips for my J's are slower than the fastest speedload but oh so much more reliable and convenient to carry.
The Safariland Comp I JC7 speedloader would be my own choice. Try the Safariland website above to take a look. You can buy one on amazon.com for $13.21 and less. (http://www.amazon.com/Safariland-J-C7-COMP-I-Speedloader/dp/B001PBIWHG)
I had the same problem until I purchased a set of Craig Spegel Boot Grips and the SL Variant Speedloader...no fumbles...no problems! Very fast reload! The grips are dished out to allow room for speedloaders.
I bought my wife a Ruger LCR, I also bought a couple speed loaders..I was very let down when I tried to use them.. I fumbled with them and was just about to throw them away when my wife grabbed them.. She is able to get them to work but I still can't do it.. I guess as long as she's happy, I'm happy..
I carry a J Frame .32 loaded with Buffalo Bore wadcutters and I carry an extra speed strip in my pocket. You can practice and get pretty good at this, checkout the video in my link above. Hope I never have to use my pistol, but if I need more than 12 shots I am in trouble.
There is also a lower profile cylinder release bottons available for these guns a few of the newer S&W guns I have seen came from the factory with them.
If you are looking for the fastest and best speedload system go with moon clips (yes there are 5 shot moons for the J-frames) and have the back of the cylinder milled off to accomodate them. Not really that expensive. If you really do get into a real life gun battle and need a reload you are going to need it to be as fast and as simple as possible.