I was out this morning doing some painting of my patio roof when the ladder gives way sending me flying and hitting my shoulder hard on the concrete. So wife runs me to the ER, and being it’s the only one here, everybody tend to know everyone. Well, the receptionist says to me, “what you had a painting accident”? I say sh=t your wasting your talents of observation here, actually “this is my salute to Pablo stinkin Picasso”! They send me in, and the first nurse in back says to my wife, "weren’t you just hear two weeks ago because you gave your husband a concussion"? My wife is pretty annoyed, says nothing. As I am covered with paint the 2nd nurse starts to ask me to undress and how it happened, where does it hurt etc., then tells my wife, "you got to take it easy on your husband sista, he’s no spring chicken you know". Spouse is boiling now, and then doctor walks in sees me covered with paint, screams laughing, and walks out. Tries again to come back in and can’t control himself, so another doctor comes in, and wouldn’t you know it’s the guy who treated my busted ribs some months ago. He tells my wife. "you can’t keep doing these things you’re going to kill him". I tell the doctor "you guys are going to kill me if you don't shut the hell up". Wife is livid. and walks out. So, got fractured collar bone, they give me some painkillers, blah blah we head home. As soon as we clear the parking lot, the wife clocks me one, and starts screaming about my being an illegitimate child, and my preference for sex with mothers etc. She proceeds to scream at me while crying mind you, about me making her out to be the abusive wife, and how embarrassing it was and I’m so inconsiderate. I don’t say anything. So, I reach home and settle in, then there is a knock on the door and it’s my neighbor holding a bottle of scotch, He saw me come home with the wife and had seen the paint and mess earlier and assumed she and I had fight, and I went to the ER. He says to me, “you probably need this right about now”. Wife hears this, screams at me that I prefer men’s sexual organs orally and that I should fornicate myself, screams some more slams the bedroom door and tells me to go sleep with the dog. All I wanted was to just paint the fricken roof. I should have just stayed in bed Some situations are so ridiculous they just defy explanations. So best to shut the hell up, and ride it out. At least I got a bottle of scotch to keep me warm and kill the pain, at least for tonight.