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Discussion Starter #1
I sent in an application to be a Playgirl centerfold, and here is their reply to me. Hauxfan.......

From the Executive Offices of Playgirl, Inc.

Dear Sir: We wish to thank you for your letter and Polaroid photo which we recently received.

We regret, however, that we will not be able to use your photo as our "Playgirl's Man of the Month".

When rated by our AAW (Avaricious American Women) on a scale of 1-10, your body was rated a minus 2 (-2).

The panel is comprised of widowed females ranging in ages from 50 - 75 years old who have been deprived of sexual activity for a minimum of five years.

To confirm your below average rating, we submitted your photograph to a second panel, the HUHA (Horny Undersexed Housewives of America), whose age range from 25 - 35.
However, we could not get them to contain their laughter long enough to rate you.

Please be assured, that should the tastes of American women deteriorate so drastically that a body such as yours would be in demand, you will be notified.


Meanwhile, please do not call us, we will call you.
Sincerely, PLAYGIRL INC.

P. S. It pains us to inform you, that had your photo been used, the staple holding our centerfold together would have completely obstructed what you refer to as your "love tool of the 21st Century".
 

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I did not get that letter. I got the opposite one. WE WANT YOU TO BE THE CENTER FOLD MAN OF THE YEAR. YOU ARE ONE HOT DUDE. THE LADIES WILL GO NUTS FOR YOU. well I can't go through all the letter its a bit private. Just go out and keep buying the Playgirl and you will see me. I suggest you don't show the mag to youe wife or girlfriend because they will start crying once they see the truth of what they are missing in life.
 

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I know that Shootlow and Hauxfan are buddies but if I were Shootlow I might be offended by the suggestion that I would be able to confirm Hauxfan's shortcomings.
 

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I attende a Playgirl photo shoot and then asked them for a set of the negatives. Reply was: "No way are we going to pay all the postage required on something that heavy". The pics werent used because they didnt want to scare young ladies or cause the mature ones to swoon into a faint.









not
 

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Discussion Starter #8
If the truth were known, they'd have to do a rather large pull out page just to get my endowment's in the same magazine.........lol lol

Likes-to-shoot.........I'll talk in a deeper voice just for you.....

Hauxfan!
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Calvin, I really wouldn't know that...............Now please explain to TS.com how you know...............lol lol

Hauxfan!
 

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Aha! So Shootlow, you admit you slammed the trunk of your car down on my fragile head.

Now I know it was premeditated with knowledge afore hand.

You also know that the rope trick didn't work on me....lol We both had the same idea at the same time, but we were both to smart for each other......lol

As for the high squeaky voice, that only happens when I wear those tight high knee socks. I just misplace my jewels sometimes......besides, it keeps them warm in the winter time.........something a Kansas shooter wouldn't know about.................since you only have spring, summer and fall in your state............lol

Hauxfan!
 

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Hauxfan, It's not fair first the size of staples now is over the top and considering the shape your in your not in bad shape. Don't get depressed and may the Home Depot monthly is better suited for a picture of that "tool"
 

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shootlow, you are generous to your friend it seems!!

"Hauxfanny couldn't make out in a whore house with a seabag full of silver dollars."

The house in question happened to be a "two-bit" house of pleasures too I heard from a reliable source!!

A whole seabag full? :)

Hap
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Hap, I'm still waiting for Shootlow to send me that seabag full of dollars.

When he mentioned seabag, I thought he was talking about an old girl friend of his back in high school.......lol

Hauxfan!
 
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