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3,932 Posts
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Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start witha '4.'

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life isexpensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral &diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years no body will remember the details of caliber, stance, ortactics. They will only remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention toshoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

2. Kill every living thing within view.

3. Adjust Speedo.

4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

3. Curse bitterly.

4. Curse bitterly.

5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.

6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

3. See what's on HBO.

4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?'

5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Pointpresentation.

6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but closeenough to have tax exemption.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.

2. Drink Coffee.

3 . Deploy Marines -------------------------------------------------- And the next... (You've got to love the military, and God bless them all.)

U.S. Navy Directive 16134 (Inappropriate T-Shirts) The following directive was issued by the commanding officer of all navalinstallations in the Middle East .(It was obviously directed at the Marines.) To: All Commands Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts Ref: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K All commanders promulgate upon receipt.

The following T-shirts are no longerto be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving inthe Middle East :

1. 'Eat Pork or Die' [both English and Arabic versions]

2. 'Shrine Busters' [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamicshrines. Some with unit logos.]

3. 'Goat - it isn't just for breakfast anymore.' [Both English and Arabic versions]

4. 'The road to Paradise begins with me.' [Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scopecross-hairs.]

5. 'Guns don't kill people. I kill people.' [Both Arabic and English versions]

6. 'Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]

7. 'Infidel' [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt ofthis directive. In addition, the following signs are to be removed upon receipt of thismessage:

1. 'Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range at 0800Daily.'

2. 'Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?' All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.


84 Posts
Outstanding lists. We wrote a few things on out green tee shirts in country when I Was in the Corps. The XO wasn't too fond of it when he figured out what we had done. I will leave it to the imagination since I don't particularly want to have my IP banned from hahah.


228 Posts
Hey you forgot these:

"Let the other son-of-a-btch die for his country"

"Always attack from the high ground"

"We've been looking for the enemy for weeks, and we've finally found them, we're surronded"

"Attack Attack"

And the best of all..when asked to surrender, reply with "NUTS" (profanity optional)

430 Posts
You forgot:

Air Force

Enter code > Insert and turn keys > Pour another Martini while waiting for Pyongyang and Tehran to become parking lots....
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