Okay gang, I found a great guide to internet etiquette by Tom Andry which I'll post here and in its own thread:
How do I best express my views on the Internet?
There are specific rules regarding the Internet. OPRA knows almost none of them but he is pretty sure that if you have an opinion on something you should definitely find a forum that has little or nothing to do with the subject at hand and start posting away. There are quite a few techniques involved in a really well done argument. I’ll list a few here:
Providing Evidence – Googling is an important skill that shows your superior ability at wringing the Internet dry in an attempt to find as many sources of confirmation for your opinion as possible. The more obscure the better. Bonus points if you have to use a translation program to read it.
Brevity – Come on, you know it works. When people spend oodles of time debunking every misconception you have, coming back with a one word response is the ultimate. Especially if you draw it out like “twwwwwwwwwooooooooooooo……” Classic.
Clarity – Why use one word when you can use two? Why use one paragraph when you can use ten? If your uber-response is so long no one will read it, you win!
Making it Personal – One can never underestimate the power of belittling another. It may be useful to stir up debate by calling people cows or sheep or other barnyard animals. This stimulates the discussion by getting people personally involved and is generally considered good form. It is especially effective if you target something that is completely superfluous to the topic at hand. Grammar and spelling are obvious targets. Hanging prepositions are less obvious but show your superior intellect (not that the cretons will understand it). Ripping on someone’s avatar is always a good ploy, especially if they were fool enough to use a picture of their wife or child.
Taking the High Ground – Saying things like, “When you grow up…” or “Aren’t you still in diapers…” is always a good way to keep the discussion on track. People love to be reminded of that condescending Father/Uncle/Teacher. I know I do.
Graphics – Try to find/invent/makeup some sort of graph, chart, or pictorial representation of your argument. Make sure you label it clearly “What I believe” and “All that other crap that is wrong and only idiots would believe.” This definitely provides credence to your debating skills.
Logic Puzzles – Start as many sentences as possible saying what you will not do, then say “but” and do it anyways. For example, “I don’t want to say that you are a moron but you are a moron.” It confuses people because first they think you won’t say it, then you do, but you said you wouldn’t so you must not have… By the time they figure it out, you’ve already won the argument.
Inviting a Friend – If you’ve got a couple of brainwashed stooges that worship the self-righteous ground you walk on, have them sign up and support you. Better yet, invent one! If no one will talk to you because they just can’t get over how wrong they are, invent a couple of alternative identities and post away. Sure, it takes extra time but in the end, isn’t a virtual buddy better than no buddy?
Referencing – Scholastic journals and peer reviewed articles love to cite other people’s work. You should do the same. But, since you are the authoritative voice on pretty much everything, whom do you cite? Easy – yourself. Post something brilliant (that shouldn’t be too hard). Then when people refute it, refer back to it (preferably with links). Obviously, this is a good spot for a personal insult or a “but” statement as they must be dense if they can’t see the truth behind your half-baked theorems, convoluted logic, and pseudo-science.
Getting Management Involved – Nothing asserts your righteous Alpha-maleness than telling the management to go stuff themselves. Even better, berate them online, get banned, then demand to be unbanned with a formal apology. You can tell how often that works by the number of posts in the “Formal Apology” thread in the “I Don’t Give a Crap” forum.
Word to the wise – Rational arguments based in fact or (gasp!) common sense have NO PLACE on the Internet. Take those discussions elsewhere my friend. We’re not buying what you’re selling and we don’t take to your kind around here. If you want that, go make some real friends. Loser.
