A big boss at a business had need to promote someone to a higher position. He had 4 candidates in mind, so he gathered them in the conference room. He told them he would promote the one that gave the best answer to a single question he would ask all 4. He asked the first candidate, "What is the fastest thing on earth?" The fellow thought for a moment, then said he would go with a thought. He explained how when you had a thought, it just jumped into your head, just like that. The second guy said it was blinking your eye, as in "quick as a wink". The third guy said it had to be electricity, because when you turned on a light, there it was, right now. The last guy said he was sure it was diarrhea. The boss was taken aback, and demanded an explanation. The guy said, "Last night I got a case of diarrhea, and before I could think, blink, or turn on a light, I had $hit myself." He got the job.