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On his 80th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction.
The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned,”This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3’. When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want.”
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1, 2, 3.”
Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for? ’

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
 

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OK, can everyone see the meme above. I am having trouble just dropping the image in. It always says something about "being too big". i can use the url option. I did this one from my laptop, then later was perusing the forum on my phone, and my own meme pic doesn't show up on my phone. I think I still haven't got this down good.
 

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OK, can everyone see the meme above. I am having trouble just dropping the image in. It always says something about "being too big". i can use the url option. I did this one from my laptop, then later was perusing the forum on my phone, and my own meme pic doesn't show up on my phone. I think I still haven't got this down good.
Post #2582 is blank
 

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Post #2582 is blank
Thanks. It's not blank viewed on my own computer here, only from my phone. I am having problems just dropping the image, and apparently pasting the url like we once did using "copy image location" isn't friendly to me either.

This is what I get when I try to drop an image - - -
"The submitted message is too long to be processed. Please shorten it. "
 

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A man goes into a dentist`s office with a tooth-ache.

The dentist examined him and told him the tooth needed to be extracted.

The dentist started to give him a shot of Novocain and the guy protested that he was afraid of needles.

The dentist asked him if he wanted him to use gas. He said no because he was allergic to gas.

The dentist then handed him a little blue pill.

The man said doctor this is Viagra what good will that do?

The dentist said it will give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth!
 

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A cannibal was walking through the jungle. He passed a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling hungry he sat down and looked at the menu.
It read;

Regular Tourist - $5.00

Broiled Missionary - $10.00

Fried Explorer - $15.00

Grilled Democrat - $100.00

The cannibal called the owner over and asked why the price was so high for a Democrat.

The owner replied ... they are so full of sh*t it takes all day to clean one.
 

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After a relaxing bath, Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself naked in a mirror, remembering her time with Bill Clinton.
Her frustration over her inability to lose weight was depressing her.

In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help...

"God, if you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you," she prayed

And just like that, her ears fell off.
 
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