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Carbon offsets!

What a great idea. I like it so much I think the idea should be expanded. Just think about it, I love a big juicy hamburger now and then, but I know eating or consuming one is bad. So why can’t I just “offset” the consumption of one by purchasing a nice green salad for someone in a third world country.

I’m even thinking of starting a “Racial offset” company. It will work like this, you send me money to buy a “racial comment offset certificate” and if you accidentally say something that’s racially charged and politically incorrect, simply pull out your certificate to prove that you’ve offset your bad behavior. Keep in mind that $90 of every $100 you send to me to buy racial offsets will go to the NAACP, New Black Panthers, Congressional Hispanic Caucus, UNCF and any other group advancing the rights of minorities. After all isn’t that the way Algore uses carbon offsets, whenever he uses a 100,000 gal of jet fuel, he simply buys offsets by giving some agency money to spend on something benefiting the environment. So if you buy “racial offsets” you can start calling undocumented workers, "illegal wetbacks" again. If the idea works for Algore it should work for everyone else as well.
 
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