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Old Speeders
An elderly couple were driving across the country.
The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the
highway patrol. The officer said,
"Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks,
"What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!"

The patrolman said, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband and asked,
"What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman gave him her license.

The patrolman said, "I see you are from Arkansas.
I spent some time there once and went on a blind date
with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

The woman turned to her husband and asked,
"What did he say?"

The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"





second:
This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.

The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking.

With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of single malt thereafter.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he has just been arrested.

The Englishman answers with humour: "No! Do you know that this is a British car and that my wife is the driver... on the other side of the car ??"
 
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