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You`re In A Redneck Church If.......

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Gold Medal, Feb 11, 2013.

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  1. Gold Medal

    Gold Medal Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    343
    The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because no one knows how to play one.

    Members ask, when they learn Jesus fed 5000 people with two fish, whether they were largemouth or catfish and what bait was used.

    When the pastor says ---I`d like to ask Bubba to take up the offering--- five guys and two women stand up.

    A member of the congregation asks to be buried in his 4X4 truck when he dies as "it has never been in a hole it couldn`t get out of."

    The choir is known as the OK Chorale.

    In a congregation of 500 members there are only 7 last names.

    Members think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

    The collection plates are hubcaps from a `56 Chevy.

    You are called to services by a duck call.

    The communion wine is Boones` Farm "Tickled Pink."

    Thou shalt not covet applies to hunting dogs, too.
     
  2. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,857
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    You`re In A Redneck Church If.......the communion wafers are actually moonpies
     
  3. Gold Medal

    Gold Medal Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    343
    Add one;

    The preacher and his wife drive matching pick-ups
     
  4. hettinger

    hettinger TS Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2006
    Messages:
    77
    You make change from the collect plate.
     
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