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Words and Definitions

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by short shucker, Oct 7, 2010.

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  1. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders thesubject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an assh**e.

    3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until yourealize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stopsbright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, showslittle sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose ofgetting laid.

    7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

    8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and theperson who doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all thesereally bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it'slike, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the dayconsuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter whenthey come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just afteryou've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into yourbedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm inthe fruit you're eating.

    The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to itsyearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meaningsfor common words. And the winners are:

    1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one hasgained.

    3.. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

    6.. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing onlya nightgown.

    7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has beenrun over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted byproctologists.

    13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies uponto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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