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Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Ahab, Nov 30, 2012.

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  1. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Why, Why, Why ?

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

    Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

    Why does someone
    believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

    If people evolved from apes,
    why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses
    are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my FAVORITE......
    The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
  2. Hotrod67

    Hotrod67 Member

    Jun 28, 2012
    Ahab, those get a man to think a little, very funny. Why do we park our cars on a driveway but drive on a parkway? Dan.
  3. nipper

    nipper TS Member

    Dec 30, 2007
    why are most trap shooters so fat they can bearly walk to the field....
  4. CharlieAMA

    CharlieAMA TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Jan 29, 1998
    God's Country
    Because they can.
  5. Setterman

    Setterman Well-Known Member

    Feb 12, 2007
    How would you know nippy, you've never been on a trap field.
  6. Claymuncher

    Claymuncher Member

    Oct 31, 2011
    •If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

    •If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

    •Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer/ My favorite quyestion

    •How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    •Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    •Did you ever stop and wonder.

    •Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    •Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

    •Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    •Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

    •Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?

    •Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

    •Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

    •If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    •If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?

    •If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

    •Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    •Stop singing and read on

    •Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    •Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    •Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    •Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place

    •Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    •What is the speed of darkness?

    •Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

  7. CharlieAMA

    CharlieAMA TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Jan 29, 1998
    God's Country
    Why doesn't Fred Flintstone climb back in the window, after the cat throws him out?
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