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When Insults Had Class

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by starship, Nov 6, 2007.

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  1. starship

    starship TS Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2007
    Messages:
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    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
    --Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
    -- Groucho Marx

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it" -- Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
    -- Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...

    (followed by Churchill's response)

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one."
    -- Winston Churchill

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
    -- Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
    -- John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
    --Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
    -- Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
    -- Paul Keating

    "He had delusions of adequacy."
    -- Walter Kerr

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
    -- Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
    -- Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
    -- Oscar Wilde

    Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee! "

    Winston replied,"Madam, if I were your husband I would drink it!"
     
  2. tallengnr

    tallengnr TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    28
    To add to this...a few older insults by Shakespeare

    "...not so much brain as ear wax"

    "Idol of idiot worshippers!"

    "Foot-licker!"

    "...roast meat for worms"

    "the soul of this man is in his clothes"

    "...light of brain"

    "O gull, o dolt, as ignorant as dirt!"

    "highly fed and lowly taught"

    "I do desire we may be better strangers"

    "long tongu'd babbling gossip"

    "infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker"

    "...a fusty nut with no kernel"

    "anointed sovereign of sighs and groans"

    "...mountain of mad flesh"

    "all eyes and no sight"

    "lump of foul deformity"
     
  3. trapgeek

    trapgeek Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2006
    Messages:
    315
    I LIKE these! Reminds me of some people I know.

    TG
     
  4. flybyknight

    flybyknight Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    128
    "an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker" This is the perfect discription of a politician, actually, all politicians. Bob K
     
  5. Urbans

    Urbans Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    223
    Those of you who think you know it all are an annoyance to those of us who do.
     
  6. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,450
    A british person can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to trip.
     
  7. blizzard

    blizzard Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,583
    If any of you had gunpowder for brains, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.
     
  8. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,796
    Nobody should be insulted! We need to have Luv in our hearts. We can shoot, but we shouldn't ever insult!
     
  9. shadow

    shadow Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,445
    I sincerely hope that your mother will run out from under the porch and bite you.
     
  10. omahasportingsupply

    omahasportingsupply TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    1,138
    You are a waste of my oxygen.


    I can tell you were lying because your lips were moving.


    Just some of my favorites.
     
  11. dbcook

    dbcook TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2007
    Messages:
    1,157
    some people never figure out why they have 2 ears & 1 mouth..dwain
     
  12. Tdog

    Tdog TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    282
    Somewhere a village is being deprived of their idiot.
    A legend in his own mind.
     
  13. newark sportsman

    newark sportsman TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    39
    How`s about....


    Your so dumb you couldn`t pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.......
     
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