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When children move to another state

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by senior smoke, Jun 15, 2011.

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  1. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Hello:
    Have any of you ever had to experience a child moving out of state? That is what my wife and I are going through at this time. I have a son who is moving out of state for what is hopefully a good well paying job. He recently graduated from Marquette university with his Masters degree. When he told us he was taking a position out of state it was bitter sweet. Yes, I want him to be successful in his career, but I will miss him dearly.

    Before I put our home up for sale, it was my understanding that my son and daughter and her family would also move to Texas so we could all start our new life there together. As most of you know, plans usually change. My wife is also having a hard time, as my son is the youngest child.

    Last night, I was laying in bed thinking of years ago when he was little. I would drop him off and pick him up after school. How I worried that he would be ok and that no one would pick on him. Over the years, I tried to instill a good work ethic in him as he worked as a paper boy, than part time while attending high school.

    When he went to college he worked a full time job while having a full time work load in college, as he also graduated with honors. I taught him as a young man that nothing in life comes easy, and nothing in life is free. He took out school loans for his education and once he was 18 he was paying his own bills.

    My wife and I set up a saving account the first day he was a freshman in college which he never knew about, and instead of giving him money to help pay his tuition, I made a weekly deposit to this account after I cashed my paycheck. He will be leaving soon, with a pat on his back, and a nice size check in his hand for he now has the money to pay off his college education.

    Some may think I was wrong not to help him out financially, but I felt someday he might appreciate my train of thought in this matter. I hope he understands that in our eyes he has now become a man that his parents are very proud of.

    I hope that someday, he will be grateful that I taught him that you have to work for everything you want in life. Enough said.
    Steve Balistreri
     
  2. sliverbulletexpress

    sliverbulletexpress TS Member

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    Senior have you ever considered Facebook? It is a really good social networking site I've been told.
     
  3. wolfram

    wolfram Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you all did a good job. Your making him work his way through school is probably what fueled him to perform as well as he did. Don't second guess it - you prepared him for the real world.

    As far as putting more distance between you because of the new job, well that is just geographical. It sounds like you are plenty close where it matters.
     
  4. mrskeet410

    mrskeet410 TS Member

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    Empty nest sucks.
     
  5. mike Adcock

    mike Adcock Member

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    Well Steve, I, like several others, have kids out of state. My daughter is about two hours away in Michigan. My son is stationed at Fort Riley but soon will be at Fort Campbell. The grand children are in Pennsylvania.

    The other daughters are close by but that could change. We are in Northwest Ohio. It is hard at times but you get used to it. Lots of ways to communicate now days.

    Mike Adcock
     
  6. dverna

    dverna Active Member

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    The reality is he will likely move again in a few years. So "following" the boy around may not work out too well.

    Be thankful he is working. Many recent graduates are having a tough time finding work.

    You did a good job raising him. That will pay dividends for both of you.

    Don Verna
     
  7. shutnlar

    shutnlar TS Member

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    Steve- 3 kids- oldest girl,1/2 hour away..son US Army, currently A'stan, soon Ft Bragg N.C. for a year then Ft Bliss Tx. The closest he's ever been to home(chicago 'burbs) is Ft Leavenworth Ks. Youngest girl is in NY, an hour North of NYC. Tough to see the GKs when they are so far away..Empty nest is pretty fun tho....

    Larry
     
  8. shot410ga

    shot410ga Well-Known Member

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    You can't follow or live vicariously through your kids as they move around the country. They don't like it.........
     
  9. trapwife

    trapwife Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

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    Leo and I are lucky to have it both ways....oldest daughter is married with a family and lives just 10 minutes away...youngest daughter,single, moved out of state (7 hours away) last year. There are pros and cons with both situations. Isn't there some ole saying about letting the bird fly from your hand and it will come back, but if it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with?
     
  10. RickNE

    RickNE Member

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    First of all, hats off to you for raising such a fine young man. You gave him a great gift... a gift of responsibility.

    Secondly, I, too, wouldn't recommend following his move. I don't have an empty nest and won't for at least 8-10 years. But I was the youngest child in my family and did move away from home after college... actually when I had 3 young children. My parents contemplated moving close to me as they couldn't stand being that far away from their grandchildren. I recommended to them that they not do that because I couldn't guarantee how long I would be there and didn't want to feel obligated to stay there. As it turned out, they stayed and 3 years later, my family moved back to our home state. It all worked out in the end!
     
  11. Pull & Mark

    Pull & Mark Well-Known Member

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    Karly, If you love something let it go!!! If it comes back it is yours, if not, it never was!!! I believe was the phrase you are thinking of. Now the way I've heard it is If you love something let it go!!! If it comes back its yours, if not, hunt it down and "Kill It". LOL.

    You did good Steve, Don't second guess yourself!!! Its not easy for the children to move away as well. But it is still part of life and need to be done. Get a good Long distance phone so you can call once a week. Break-em all. Jeff
     
  12. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Wauwatosa Wisconsin
    Karla:
    Has time gone by fast. I remember seeing Leo in the American shotgunner magazine when he was a junior shooter. You make good sense.
    Steve

    Larry:
    I said a prayer for your son, please thank him for me for his service to our country.
    Steve

    To the remainder of you that have responded, I will take your advice, hard that it is, but it is sound advice. With the exception of a few wise guys on this site, I'd have to say the majority of people are good, honest, hard working people.
    Thanks,
    Steve
     
  13. trapwife

    trapwife Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

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    Steve, life seems to be going faster and faster. Today (June 15) is Leo's birthday and he is now officially 54 years young. I've known him and his family since we were kids, my dad and his grandad shot together all the time. Just doesn't seem possible that we now have grandkids of our own...
     
  14. racer

    racer TS Member

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    Senior- we use a program called "Skype" to be able to see our daughter when we want.We also talk/see my parents since we have moved away. You can down load from internet for free and its very easy to set up. Dan
     
  15. twotimer

    twotimer Member

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    Steve, with fathers' day coming up, I could probably write a book on your thread. My father, as you know, is still alive in Racine and I have not lived in the area for over 30 years. We are still close. My son is 33 and has spent most of his life in the mid east-he is a soldier of fortune. It will work out, it is part of the life cycle. Mike
     
  16. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Location:
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    trapwife:
    Karla, Leo's 54?????????? Can't be, now I am feeling old. Years ago I spoke to Leo at the Wisconsin state shoot as I was also interested in possibly having the same operation that Leo had done to lose some weight. He spoke to me for over 30 minutes about that. He's a good man, and I am positive you already know that. Leo probably does not remember me, but please say hello to him and let him know that I appreciated his time talking to me about the operation.
    Take care,
    Steve Balistreri

    Mike:
    Beautiful Racine, nicest lakefront in Wisconsin.
    Steve
     
  17. TC

    TC TS Member

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    Steve, you have done a very fine job, raising that young man. He will always be as close as your phone or computer. Tony
     
  18. Release Trigger

    Release Trigger Member

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    Karla and Leo,

    Wish the big man Happy Birthday from Downunder, my condolences again regarding his Mum.

    My Grandpap used to tell me, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper the closer you get to the end the faster it runs out".

    Looking forward to the Grand to catch up with you guy's.

    Gary and The Aussie gang.
     
  19. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Gary:
    I never heard that saying, that's pretty good.
    Steve
     
  20. FIB

    FIB Member

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    Location:
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    Senior, my oldest is 18 and will be a senior in HS next year. My Wife and I are already starting to think about the future. He is an Eagle Scout and a decent student (3.77). He doesn't want any student loans over his head and unfortuntely after paying for private school for him and his younger brother we can't afford to pay for college for him. He's looking into possibly joining the Navy and going through ROTC. A decision that my Wife and I are torn over. It's amazing how quick your kids grow up. When they were babies I couldn't wait till they could talk and go fishing/hunting with me and now they have other interests. I feel your pain as Bill Clinton used to say.
     
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