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WAY O/T -- SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE HUMOR

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Gold Medal, Jul 1, 2012.

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  1. Gold Medal

    Gold Medal Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    342
    My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. Well she`s not exactly my girlfriend -- yet.

    A wife says to her husband "You`re always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says "What do you expect? You`re in a wheel chair."

    I was explaining reincarnation to my wife. When you die you are born again as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said you`re obviously not listening.

    My wife has been missing for a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to Goodwill to get all her clothes back.

    The senior citizens center had a contest the other day. I lost by one point. The question -- where do women have the most curly hair? Who knew Africa was the correct answer?

    I was in bed with a blind girl last night. She said I had the biggest manhood she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You`re pulling my leg."

    I saw a poor old lady faint today. At least I thought she was poor. She had only $1.27 in her purse when I took it.

    Went for a routine check-up today. Everything was going fine until he stuck his finger in my rear end. Do you think I should change dentists?

    There`s a new muslim clothing store opened in our shopping center. I`ve been banned from it after asking to see the new bomber jackets.

    You can say a lot of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly past schools.

    A buddy of mine told me he is getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said how do you tell them apart. He said "Her brother has a mustache."

    Just put a deposit down a new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said I can`t wait for the new 911 to to arrive. Next thing I knew 4000 muslims had added me as a friend.

    When I chcked in to the motel, I told the lady registration clerk "I hope the TV porn channel is disabled." She said "No, it`s regular porn you sicko."

    The Red Cross just knocked on our door and asked if we could help with the flooding in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the end of the driveway.
     
  2. grntitan

    grntitan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2009
    Messages:
    17,159
    Location:
    IL(The gun friendly Southern Part)
    Dude that is wrong...............but ohhhh so funny!!!

    ROFLMAO :)
     
  3. Gold Medal

    Gold Medal Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    342
    Thanks grntitan.

    You should read the two I had to leave off for proprieties sake.
     
  4. Bluzman98

    Bluzman98 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    840
    Made my day....so wrong, but who cares?? LOL

    JIm C
     
  5. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,049
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Which one was unacceptable? Was this a test?
     
  6. Cat Fish

    Cat Fish Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    82
    Thanks. I needed that!!!

    Bill
     
  7. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    Gold Medal,


    That's great stuff...please PM me the two "censored" ones!
     
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