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Way O.T......Nasty Monday!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Quack Shot, Mar 12, 2007.

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  1. Quack Shot

    Quack Shot Active Member

    Mar 14, 2006
    It Isn't Friday and the "Luv" Fest Friday fizzled out. SO.......Here's to Nasty Monday!


    In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

    Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

    And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

    And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

    So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

    God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

    God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Ang el Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

    God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

    Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

    God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

    God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

    Then Satan created HMOs.
  2. luvnbearhugs1

    luvnbearhugs1 TS Member

    Dec 18, 2006
    Hey Ducky,

    It's never "nasty" when I can get out of work for a couple hours to go shooting! lol

  3. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Apr 26, 2006
    One day an american guy visits Spain. After watching an exciting bull fight, he goes into a restaurant for dinner. While he waits for his meal, a waiter walks by with a steaming plate of food. The american guy asks the waiter what it is. The waiter relpies that it is bull's testicles from the fight. Willing to try anything once, the american orders one for the next day.

    The next afternoon, the american walks into the restaurant and sits down to his meal. When he sees the waitor, he tells him that they are delicious, but why are they so much smaller than the ones yesterday? The waiter's replies that sometimes the bull wins!

    Wonder how many calories are in those?
  4. Jerbear

    Jerbear TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Cocktails anyone?
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/25011928@N00/84452456/" title="Photo Sharing">[​IMG]</a>

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