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W.C. Fields quotes, got any?

Discussion in 'Shooting Related Threads' started by deadelk, Jul 1, 2009.

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  1. deadelk

    deadelk Member

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    Any man who hates kids and pets can't be all bad.
     
  2. Porcupine

    Porcupine Active Member

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    "Anything worth having is worth cheating for!"
     
  3. fishguts

    fishguts Member

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    "My boy, nothing in this world is perfect".

    Wayne
     
  4. BATTLIN MINER

    BATTLIN MINER TS Member

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    W.C.Women are like elephant's, they are nice to look at but I would not want to Owen one."
     
  5. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    He was an avowed atheist.

    Later in life, a friend caught him looking through the Bible.

    W.C.Fields said" I was just looking for loopholes".

    Hauxfan!
     
  6. tarhawk

    tarhawk TS Member

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    Hey, who took the cork out of my lunch?
     
  7. timb99

    timb99 Well-Known Member

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    Somebody must have left the kid out in the rain too long. His brain's warped.
     
  8. capvan

    capvan Active Member

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    "Water...never touch the stuff. Fish f*** in it you know"
     
  9. NJFlyer

    NJFlyer Member

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    I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
    W. C. Fields
     
  10. Pocatello

    Pocatello Active Member

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    W. C. Fields on death: "On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia".
     
  11. Carl7650

    Carl7650 TS Member

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    Go away little girl,,,,you bother me :)
     
  12. Damifino

    Damifino Member

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    A W.C. Fields type quote by Winston Churchill:

    Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your morning coffee.<BR>Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
     
  13. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    Good one, Shootlow.........But how did you know? lol

    Hauxfan!
     
  14. 100straight

    100straight Member

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    W.C. Fields, two seconds after death.... "uh, oh..."
     
  15. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Deplorable Bitter Clinger in Liberal La La Land
    A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. <br>
    <br>
    Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.<br>
    <br>
    Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.<br>
    <br>
    Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.<br>
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    I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.<br>
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    I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.<br>
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    I drink therefore I am.<br>
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    I like children - fried.<br>
    <br>
    I must have a drink of breakfast.<br>
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    I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.<br>
    <br>

    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.<br>
    <br>
    It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.<br>
    <br>
    Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.<br>
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    Never give a sucker an even break.<br>
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    Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.<br>
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    No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.<br>
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    Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.<br>
    <br>
    The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.<br>
    <br>
    The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.<br>
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    There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.<br>
    <br>
    Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.<br>
    <br>
    When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
     
  16. fritzi93

    fritzi93 TS Member

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    Not sure if this was really said by W.C. Fields, but it's good:

    I love children. Girl children, sixteen to sixty."
     
  17. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    fritzi93, here's the quote....<br>
    <br>
    Egbert Sousé: I'm very fond of children. Girl children, around eighteen and twenty.<br>
    <br>
    Egbert Souse' was the character WC Fields played in the movie The Bank Dick.<br>
    <br>
    If you click the link, it takes you to a page with lots of quotes from that movie, which I think is one of the best of the WC Fields movies.
     
  18. jakearoo

    jakearoo Active Member

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    I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep, you know
     
  19. jakearoo

    jakearoo Active Member

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    I can not find a reference to one of my favorites. In one of his movies he gets knocked down some stairs by a woman. He is picking himself up and dusting himself off and is asked "Are you hurt?" And he responds, "Not physically, no."
     
  20. lost2pair

    lost2pair TS Member

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    I feel sorry for people who never drink they get up feeling as good as their going to all day.
     
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