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Vasoline.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Jan 9, 2017.

  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Subject: Fwd: vaseline





    A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

    He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline brand petroleum jelly. Have you ever used the product?"

    She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

    "And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

    "We use it for sex."

    The researcher was a little taken back. "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

    The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all; my husband and I put it on the door knob so the kids can't open the door!"
     
    big kahuna, WesleyB, Rick Barker and 4 others thanked this.
  2. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    That is a bit like the octogenarian who was in the hospital for a series of tests. Her doctor stopped in the see how things were going - remarkable well in fact.

    They started with some small talk and the doctor asked her what she thought of the food?

    She responded that it wasn't bad except for the lack of taste in the Kentucky jelly they served at breakfast.
     
  3. 2skeet

    2skeet Active Member

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    LOL, My dad would throw a hand full of dimes out in the front yard when he wanted some quality time with our mother.
     
  4. CharlieAMA

    CharlieAMA TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    LMAO. Good ones!
     
  5. DustyOne60

    DustyOne60 Active Member

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    What happened to the young home owners who didn't know the difference between Vaseline and putty?


    All their windows fell out!
     
  6. Shooting Sailor

    Shooting Sailor Well-Known Member

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    The old sailor's trick was green jelly beans. My Dad once asked his very young, very new Third Mate, who was going ashore with his equally young wife, if he had counted his green jelly beans? She was mystified by the question, and demanded to know what the Captain meant by it? The explanation was eventually dragged out of her husband, and she was mortified! She just couldn't face the fact that her husband's boss thought that they were going home to have sex after her husband was at sea for 8 weeks.
     
  7. arrowdodger

    arrowdodger Banned User Banned

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    I do not understand the green jelly bean thing. Need some splainin???
     
    Barrelbulge(Fl) thanked this.
  8. Shooting Sailor

    Shooting Sailor Well-Known Member

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    When you get home from sea, you have a bag of green jelly beans to throw on the lawn, in order to keep the kids busy for a while. If you want more than a while, count the green jelly beans, and tell the kids there are 4 more than you actually have. They won't bother you until they find them all!
     
  9. arrowdodger

    arrowdodger Banned User Banned

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    Oohhhhhh i see. Ty