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Twenty Dollars----Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by avery53, Jul 17, 2013.

  1. avery53

    avery53 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    673
    Location:
    Northern Michigan
    TWENTY DOLLARS


    On their wedding night, the young bride

    Approached her new husband and asked

    For $20.00 for their first lovemaking

    Encounter. In his highly aroused state,

    Her husband readily agreed.

    This scenario was repeated each time they made

    Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a

    Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that

    She needed.

    Arriving home around noon one day, she was Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken
    state. During the next few minutes, he explained that

    His employer was going through a process of corporate

    Downsizing, and he had been let go.

    It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find

    Another position that paid anywhere near what

    He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

    Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which

    Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling

    Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued

    By the Bank which were worth over $2 million,

    And informed him that they

    Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

    She explained that for more than

    Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,

    These holdings had multiplied and these were the

    Results of her savings and investments.

    Faced with evidence of cash and investments

    Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could

    Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,

    'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,

    I would have given you all my business!'

    That's when she shot him.

    You know, sometimes, men just don't know when

    To keep their mouths shut

    Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

    But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!
     
  2. chuckie68

    chuckie68 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2012
    Messages:
    1,839
    Location:
    Royal Oak, Michigan
    Good one!

    Chuck
     
  3. joe90t

    joe90t Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2009
    Messages:
    1,826
    Made My Day !!!!!!!!!!!!! Joe joe90t
     
  4. Garry

    Garry Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    533
    OK, reverse engineer the $3 million and tell me how many times this couple made love during the last 40 years assuming a 10% annual interest rate.
     
  5. Garry

    Garry Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    533
    Wow, that's a lot of loving.

    I am not good at math but I was thinking she would have to be saving about $537 dollars per month which would equate to having sex about 27 times per month, or about 322 times per year or about 12,888 times during the 40 years.
     
  6. Michael.B

    Michael.B Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2013
    Messages:
    96
    Investing in 6 month CDs from Jan. 1, 1972 to Dec. 31, 2011, They would have to average 2.84 times a day to accumulate $3,008,405.86.
     
  7. wolfram

    wolfram Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2007
    Messages:
    6,258
    Yes, thats what I was thinking. Or maybe I was just thinking of my own experiences in marriage - probably wouldn't have more than a couple of grand in the bank after 15 years:)
     
  8. primed

    primed Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,119
    WOW. We're even going to over-analyze this joke??? Must be a slow day. Let's discuss 7 1/2s and 8s for a while.
     
  9. shadow

    shadow Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,445
    Just goes to show that some things can never wear out !
     
  10. darr

    darr Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,986
    Having been married for close to 20 years I'm not sure 3 million would be worth it. By the way my wife never reads ts.com.


    Darr