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"Twas the Night before Christmas" C & P

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by ysr_racer, Dec 23, 2007.

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  1. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer Active Member

    Jan 29, 1998

    'Twas the night before Christmas,
    cold, dark and foreboding,
    I sat at the work bench,
    quite busy reloading.

    The empties from autumn were polished so clear
    for primers and powder and bullets from Speer
    and Hornady┬┤s soft-points, and Nosler┬┤s Partitions
    (my bench ain't no place for brand name omissions!).

    All sat in their boxes, right next to the press
    with dies from Dillon, and RCBS,
    when all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
    I grabbed for my Benelli and whipped out my Colt.

    As I spilled Hodgdon's powder
    all over the shelf,
    I scrambled for cover,
    just to protect myself.

    From up on the rooftop,
    came hoofbeats and snorting
    like the noise out of L'il Rock
    from Clinton's cavorting!

    I eased off the safety,
    to press-check my auto
    with 230-talons,
    I'll knock 'em all blotto.

    Were these rogue federal agents,
    sent by Schumer and Reno ?
    Or a staggering Ted Kennedy,
    in bad need of more vino?

    My question was answered
    with a knock, and some sneezing,
    "It's Santa, you moron,
    lemme in there, I'm freezing!"

    I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide
    to find St. Nick a shivering, Rudolph by his side.
    He eyeballed my Taurus 24/7 with a nod of approval
    "You're all set," he said, "for dirtball removal."

    "But this is no raid, we're not here to harm you
    nor persecute, prosecute, nor even disarm you"
    "Instead," said dear Santa, "I needed to borrow
    your .357 'till day after tomorrow."

    "It's okay," he assured me, with a hint of frustration,
    "I'm enrolled in the National Rifle Association."
    He showed me his card, 'twas a Life Member rating,
    "I've had this since me and the missus were dating!"

    "And you see, Bob, ol' buddy,
    I've gotten real nervous
    since Pelosi was elected
    with a promise to serve us.

    So henceforth as I'm out there, my presents a stackin',
    I want to assure you, I'm legally packin'',
    and my gift for you this year should give you a hoot
    I've told the Supreme Court to give Brady the boot!

    Now, Rudy and I must be on our way,"
    he said as he climbed back in his sleigh.
    With the reins in his hand and my Colt in his pocket,
    he jingled the sleighbells and was off like a rocket.

    With a pair of speed-loaders
    and ammo to spare,
    I knew he'd be safe,
    he was loaded for bear!

    As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling
    "From D.C., where 'P.C.' is already falling.
    To bad guys in L.A. , Detroit and Atlanta ,
    "I'm licensed to carry, don't mess with Santa!"
  2. locdoc

    locdoc Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Antrim, NH

    Good 'un......

    Doug Whiton, P/W dealer/dist
  3. Pull & Mark

    Pull & Mark Well-Known Member

    Mar 9, 2006

    Oh, I read your story with eagerness and delight, while were all hudled around our Dimension E310 Dell home computer tis night. As the evening came to a close and we were all snuggled in our beds, we took Comfort with the knowledge that our guns were close by. Thank You for a nice Christmas Stroy. Break-em all. Jeff
  4. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Sep 14, 2007

    Good one......creative!
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