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Tuesday Humor !!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by BRGII, Aug 5, 2009.

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  1. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Feb 26, 2008

    My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

    It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

    Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

    A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home".
    I went over. Nobody was home!

    A hooker once told me she had a headache.

    I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

    If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

    I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate my self now."

    I knew a girl so ugly, they used her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

    My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

    I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

    The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, "Why?" He said, "Because you came home early."

    I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

    My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.

    My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with.
  2. rodbuster

    rodbuster TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Good ones. Thank you.
  3. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
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