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###### TUESDAY FUNNIES ######

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by dontrys, Sep 23, 2008.

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  1. dontrys

    dontrys TS Member

    Nov 14, 2006
    Victoria, Texas

    Victoria, Texas, is a town about 80 miles west of Houston.
    Local Hispanic leaders there, in opposition to pending Immigration Legislation, boycotted all Caucasian owned businesses in the Victoria area this past weekend as a demonstration of their economic impact on the community. The boycott was declared a success by the Hispanic community, noting that revenue in Caucasian owned businesses was down by 19%.

    Business owners declared the boycott a success as well; pointing out that shoplifting was reduced by 77%, money orders sent out of the country were down by 97%, and the cost of daily clean-up and trash collection was down by 84%.

    Shoppers reported that they could actually hear English being spoken throughout the community for the first time in recent memory, and customers actually paid for purchases with real money, not government debit cards!

    The business owners are now petitioning the Hispanic leaders to make it a monthly event.


    From The Mexican Dictionary

    BODYWASH: I can't go to tha cantina tonite cuz no BODYWASH my kids.

    SHOULDER : My tia wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know how to
    read so I SHOULDER.

    COCKATOO: My friend was in the bathroom and I told him to hurry because
    I had to go COCKATOO!

    SODAS : My vieja has beeg tatas and SODAS her sister.

    JUICY : Hey vato, I will roll the joint, and ju tell me if JUICY the

    JUAREZ : My viejita slapped me and I said JUAREZ your damn problem!

    TISSUE : Hey vato if you don't know how to do it, let me TISSUE how!

    HEATER: My lil sister started to choke...Perro my mom told me to HEATER
    in the back!

    BRIEF : Hey homes, my lady farted in the car and I couldn't BRIEF!

    JULY : Ju tol me ju were going to tha store and JULY to me! Julyer!!!

    MUSHROOM : When my familia gets in the car......There's not MUSHROOM

    CHEESE : I went to dis bar and some vato try to hit up on my vieja. I
    said ay vato CHEESE with me!!

    TEXAS : My pinche friend always TEXAS me with dumb jokes.

    WATER : My vieja gets mad and I don't even know WATER problem is!

    HERPES : Me & my ruca order some pizza, I got my piece & she got HERPES.

    HIGHWAY : I turned around in bed, looked at my wife and said HIGHWAY!
    Put some make-up on cabrona. You scared me!

    HORCHATA : You can keep talking your crap, HORCHATA hell up!

    FRITO : After arguing with the pinche policia he told me I was FRITO go!
  2. timb99

    timb99 Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Beijing, China
    I am always annoyed by people who insist that immigrants speak English (with which I agree!) but then denigrate those same people when they do make an effort to speak English, but mispronounce the words or use improper grammar.

    Me...I applaud them for making the effort to at least try to learn and speak English.

    I have experience in this arena. I lived 4 years in Thailand. Like a lot of my co-workers, I could have taken the easy route and made no effort to learn their language (most of the Thai engineers with whom I worked spoke English quite well), but I thought it was worth the effort to learn the local language. After all, I was the foreigner in THEIR land. So I tried. Actually got to where I could carry on a simple conversation, such as bargaining in a marketplace. The Thai people ALWAYS smiled and congratulated me on how well I spoke their language, when I know full well I was probably butchering the pronunciation.

    Think about it.
  3. dontrys

    dontrys TS Member

    Nov 14, 2006

    Ok, so now you've had your time on the soap box....feel better?

    I was not the author of those humorous tid-bits, but, did think they were funny and that was my only intent. It's too bad you chose not to put a grin on your face but ONLY to find something to bitch about.

    Ease up!
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