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Tragic Story Humour

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by williray, Dec 8, 2008.

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  1. williray

    williray TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Could not resist Posting this......

    Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving along a deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

    Moments later, Bob shakes his head , and dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding severely! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.
    Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.
    A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts out, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"
    "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"
    Bob brings his wife in.

    An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm Doctor Phremmis, I am afraid I have not practiced in many years, but I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

    With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

    After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, then he applied the paddles, then mouth to mouth, but all to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. How sad.

    Their deaths upset greatly the elderly doctor. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano, for it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, haunting melody fills the house.

    Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab, tidying up. A movement catches his eye, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitching, keeping time to the piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

    Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

    He bursts in and shouts to his master:

    "Master, Master! ... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

    (I am sooo sorry... but you really should've seen that coming)

    Shoot well..

  2. Frank C

    Frank C Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Hey Ray.....you started it....

    The Rise of Puns

    1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir
    Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
    out to be an optical Aleutian .

    3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
    was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind
    in his work.

    6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum

    9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
    looking into it.

    12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
    to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

    14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
    When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No
    change yet.'

    17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
    medium at large.

    20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
    seasoned veteran.

    21. A backward poet writes inverse.

    22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
    count that votes.

    23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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