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Thursday Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by BRGII, May 28, 2009.

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  1. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Feb 26, 2008
    Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

    Dear Grand-daughter,

    The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker

    I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

    So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

    Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

    I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

    It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

    I found that lots of people love Jesus!

    While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'

    'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

    What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

    Everyone started honking!

    I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.

    I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

    There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

    I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

    I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

    He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

    Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

    My grandson burst out laughing.

    Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

    A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

    I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

    So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.

    I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

    So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
    Will write again soon,

    Love, Grandma
  2. pull!

    pull! TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    A mother was bathing her little 3 year old son

    He looked down at his testicles and asked "are these my brains?"

    Mother replied "NOT YET"
  3. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    The big bad Wolf said "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."

    The little piggy puts his head out of the window and says "F*** off or I'll sneeze on you."
  4. Trappy12

    Trappy12 Active Member

    Jul 12, 2006
    A Texan man was in London for his vacation for what else but the pubs. After bar hoping for quite some time, he realized that he had to pee extremely bad. Luckily, he saw a public restroom a little ways down the street, but when he got to it he realized that he had to pay to use it and thought it would be best to conserve his money for beer, so he carried on. After a lot of walking he found himself in a very high class neighborhood, but simply couldn't take it anymore and had to let loose. Just as he was about to unzip a Bobby came up behind him and said "I say bloke! You can't just bloody do it right there!" The Texan replied "I'm very sorry officer, but I just really have to go!." The officer smiled and nodded and said "it's quite alright, follow me if you will." After a bit of walking the bobby brought the Texan to a gated garden, took out his keys and opened the gate. He instructed the Texan to take care of business there. He was confused as it was the most beautiful garden he had ever seen in his life, but the bobby insisted that this was the place. Upon his return he said "Well officer I can't thank you enough, is that what they like to call British Hospitality?" "No," the bobby replied, "that is what we like to call the French Embassy."
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