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Thirsty Comedians

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by kolared person, Jul 28, 2010.

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  1. kolared person

    kolared person TS Member

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    Why are Comedians always thirsty? Because they have a dry sense of humor!
     
  2. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    A man walked into a bar and said 'Ouch!'
     
  3. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny:p

    ss
     
  4. TALLEND

    TALLEND Member

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    Hear about the canibal that passed his mother-in-law in the jungle?
     
  5. Bernie K

    Bernie K Member

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    The airplane mechanic that backed into the propeller and got a little behind in his work.
     
  6. dmarbell

    dmarbell Active Member

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    I asked a waitress in Florida, "Do you have frog legs?"

    She said, "Oh, yes sir."

    I said, "well then, wear baggy pants, and no one will notice."

    Danny
     
  7. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    The female pilot who backed into her propeller?

    Disaster
     
  8. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."


    - Steven Wright
     
  9. GOON305

    GOON305 Member

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    a horse walks into a bar, bartender says "whats with the long face?"
     
  10. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    Police Station Toilet Stolen

    Investigators Have Nothing To Go On
     
  11. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    A string walk into a bar.............

    ss
     
  12. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    A guy sits alone at a bar, drinking his beer. From out of nowhere, he hears a voice say, "You look great, man! Have you lost weight?" He looks around, and confirms that the only other person in the bar is the bartender, who is all the way at the other end of the bar. He shrugs it off, and takes another drink of his beer. "That's a really nice suit. It looks good on you," the voice says again. The guy freaks out, and shouts, "Hey, bartender! Come here!" "Who keeps talking to me?!" The guy asks the bartender. "Oh, that?" The bartender says, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary."
     
  13. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    Bartender says, "We don't serve serve strings in this bar"...................

    ss
     
  14. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    Two antennas meet on the roof, fall in love, and get married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
     
  15. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
     
  16. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    A "Die Hard" Battery walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you but
    don't start anything."
     
  17. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    String walks out and proceeds to start throwing himself on the ground repeatedly, rolling about the entire time....................................

    ss
     
  18. 320090T

    320090T Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Indiana
    "If yous don't go to other peoples funerals, they won't come to yours" Yogi
     
  19. Harv Shell

    Harv Shell TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Sorry SS, I'm a frayed knot.
     
  20. timb99

    timb99 Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Shawnee, Kansas, USA
    Its a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

    -Steven Wright-
     
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