Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by kolared person, Jul 28, 2010.
Why are Comedians always thirsty? Because they have a dry sense of humor!
A man walked into a bar and said 'Ouch!'
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny
Hear about the canibal that passed his mother-in-law in the jungle?
The airplane mechanic that backed into the propeller and got a little behind in his work.
I asked a waitress in Florida, "Do you have frog legs?"
She said, "Oh, yes sir."
I said, "well then, wear baggy pants, and no one will notice."
The female pilot who backed into her propeller?
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."
- Steven Wright
a horse walks into a bar, bartender says "whats with the long face?"
Police Station Toilet Stolen
Investigators Have Nothing To Go On
A string walk into a bar.............
A guy sits alone at a bar, drinking his beer. From out of nowhere, he hears a voice say, "You look great, man! Have you lost weight?" He looks around, and confirms that the only other person in the bar is the bartender, who is all the way at the other end of the bar. He shrugs it off, and takes another drink of his beer. "That's a really nice suit. It looks good on you," the voice says again. The guy freaks out, and shouts, "Hey, bartender! Come here!" "Who keeps talking to me?!" The guy asks the bartender. "Oh, that?" The bartender says, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary."
Bartender says, "We don't serve serve strings in this bar"...................
Two antennas meet on the roof, fall in love, and get married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
A "Die Hard" Battery walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you but
don't start anything."
String walks out and proceeds to start throwing himself on the ground repeatedly, rolling about the entire time....................................
"If yous don't go to other peoples funerals, they won't come to yours" Yogi
Sorry SS, I'm a frayed knot.
Its a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Separate names with a comma.