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Think before you speak....

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by likes-to-shoot, Nov 9, 2010.

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  1. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

    Oct 6, 2006
    > Think before you speak...

    > Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
    > The last one is great!
    > Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... Or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

    > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
    > And asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
    > I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...
    > He knew better.

    > I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
    > I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
    > After browsing for several minutes,
    > I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
    > He asked if he could help me.
    > Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

    > My sister and I were at the mall and
    > passed by a store that sold a
    > variety of candy and nuts.
    > As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
    > I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
    > My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
    > To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

    > While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust
    > and annoyance from other patrons.
    > I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
    > The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
    > I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow the last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

    > Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in betwe en errands it was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No' .
    > I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said,
    > 'Danny, are you SU R E you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied.
    > I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks And yelled
    > 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FA R TS!!'
    > While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
    > He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

    > This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
    > And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
    > turned to the weatherman and asked:
    > 'So Bob , where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
    > Not only did HE have to leave the set,
    > But half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

    > Now, didn't that feel good?
    > Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember
    > we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!!!!!
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