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Things I Have Learned in the South

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by short shucker, Aug 4, 2010.

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  1. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    Things I Have Learned in the South:

    A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South,plus a couple no one has seen before.

    If it grows, it'll stick ya.

    If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

    Onced and Twiced are words.

    It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

    Jaw-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?

    People actually grow and eat okra.

    Fixinto is one word. It means I'm fixing to do that.

    There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

    Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it whenyou're two. Folks in the south do like a little tea with their sugar.

    Backards and forards means I know everything about you.

    The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning, Did you eat?

    You dont have to wear a watch, because it don't matter what time it is,you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

    You dont PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

    You measure distance in minutes.

    You switch from heat to A/C multiple times in the same day.

    All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,grain, insect, or animal.

    You know what a DAWG is.

    You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

    You only own six spices: salt, pepper, Dale Sauce, Tabasco , CreoleSeasoning, and ketchup.

    The local papers cover national and international news on one page, butrequire 6 pages for local high school sports, motor sports, and gossip.

    Many think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

    You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.

    You know what a hissy fit is.

    Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin' or offto Wally World.

    You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.

    Fried catfish is the other white meat.

    We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

    ss
     
  2. Shooting Coach

    Shooting Coach Well-Known Member

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    AND YOUR POINT BEING? LOL

    Tennessee has everything one could want. And some things, like a state income tax, we don't have that nobody wants.

    We could use more Bunker fields.
     
  3. smoking357

    smoking357 TS Member

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    TS.com posts are now expected to have a point?

    Aw, man, that will kill all that fun material on Obama and the Democrats.
     
  4. wayneo

    wayneo Active Member

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    Just a couple more: You only say tea, or hot tea, the word ice is eliminated. "ville" on the end of cities and towns are pronounced "vull" like Loo-uh-vull. When you want a soft drink it's a Coke, never say pop. I'm sure there are a lot more.

    Wayne
     
  5. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    Grits can be eaten as a side dish for lunch with fish. Eggs can go on top of salted and peppered grits for breakfast. Grits, my favorite way, are with butter and sugar on them in a bowl for a hot breakfast cereal.

    also, eating Bisquits and Gravy is mandatory if you are going to call yourself southern. And it would be good if you learned to like butter beans.

    Black eyed peas and greens (collar or turnip) are what you eat on New Year's day.
     
  6. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    'curvy,

    All of that and no mention of fried mush? Lol.

    ss
     
  7. Dave P

    Dave P TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Wayne: Shouldn't that be Co-Cola?
     
  8. TALLEND

    TALLEND Member

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    In the South---you can do a "put down"nad show respect at the same time,as in"hees dumerna a box uh rocks--bless his heart"

    "she hit every limb on the ugly tree---bless her heart"

    Tom
     
  9. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    But I don't like mush. Don't like hominy, either...
     
  10. mx8dave

    mx8dave Member

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    you can keep your liver mush,,,D.Lang
     
  11. wayneo

    wayneo Active Member

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    Lets get a couple of things straight. Grits, mush, hominy are all about the same thing, corn. We make mush by taking left over grits and putting it in a buttered loaf pan and refrigerating it. Next morning take it out slice it up and fry it. You have fried mush.

    Devi, putting sugar on grits is very controversial. It has caused familys to split, divorces, and conveniently omitted from history books as one of the reasons South Carolina seceded from the Union. Sugar on grits, is grit blasphemy.

    BTW, doesn't grits mean: Girls Raised In The South?

    Dave P: excuse me, your right.

    Wayne
     
  12. School Teacher

    School Teacher Well-Known Member

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    In the South, all soft drinks are cokes. As in, what kind of a coke do you want? do you want a Coke, Pepsi, Big Red, Dr. Pepper, etc.

    An old NASCAR favorite is an RC Cola and a Moon Pie.

    Ed Ward
     
  13. oskerspap12

    oskerspap12 Active Member

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    Salt,pepper,and butter on Grits...........thats all
     
  14. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    Grits, mush, hominy are all about the same thing, corn....just like beagles, bull dogs, and setters are all dogs.

    And I know somebody that puts ketchup on grits. THAT's grounds for eviction from my house.
     
  15. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

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    Shad roe and eggs, salt fish in a wood keg, yaller meat watermelon, and real corn liquor! Ya'll come on down.

    Kit

    Oh! And I forgot Smithfield Ham on short biscuits.
     
  16. gdbabin

    gdbabin TS Member

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    Left over cornbread from your black-eyed peas and ham supper the night before is great fried in a black skillet in bacon grease and then dipped in your egg yolks and grits. No true hard core southerner would ever put sugar on his grits--at least not in public. Real butter, crumbled up bacon, salt, pepper, and yes, sometimes ketchup is proper grits protocol. Mamma also used to make liver & onions with a pan gravy that we put on grits for supper--yum, yum!


    We southerners from Dixie like dark cane syrup on our pancakes, flapjacks and smothered taters. That Maple stuff is fer yankees.


    Ice tea was a treat for us on Sundays. The classic recipe called for a tall glass, strong Luzianne tea, plenty of ice cubes, three to four heaping spoons of sugar, and a big juicy squeezed wedge of home-grown lemon. The best part is the dregs at the bottom.


    I'm hungry!


    Guy Babin
     
  17. Shipbuilder

    Shipbuilder TS Member

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    All Y'ALL is the plural of Y'ALL

    You mean you can actually get eggs WITHOUT grits somewhere?

    Grandmothers still warn children "don't go north of Richmond,there is no inteelignt life up there." Should an errant child wander north, the family worry will be "you don't think he/she will marry a Yankee do you" (it happened in my family)

    If for some reason an expectant mother finds herself in the north she will be advised by her family to come home and have the baby so the child will not forever suffer the humiliation of being a Yankee ! (also happened in my family)
     
  18. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    Last time I visited with friends in the south I experienced true southern hospitality in that I was invited for one of the finest meals I've ever experienced.

    My only concern was that the family dog (the only one allowed in the house) sat staring at me the entire time.

    When I queried my host as to why he responded that it was most likely because I was eating off the dogs plate.

    Only two types of music are played in the south: "Country" & "Western"

    Family trees that branch are way over-rated.

    The thing used to move the pointer on a computer screen is properly referred to as a 'critter'

    Is a southern ten truly a four with a six pack??

    Sorry all from south of the line - couldn't resist
     
  19. short shucker

    short shucker TS Member

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    The only real music listened to in the south is Bluegrass and Gospil!

    ss
     
  20. HSLDS

    HSLDS Well-Known Member

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    Short Shuker,

    I am referring to the south in general (as in south of the Mason-Dixon Line - I live in PA).

    I believe you are referring to 'the deep south' - no?
     
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