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Then the fight started--Last time for year.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Dec 29, 2008.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Aug 27, 2007
    West Central Florida
    Some repeats. Feel free to add to it.

    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
    She asked, 'What's on TV?'
    I said, 'Dust.'
    And then the fight started...

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
    I bought her a scale.
    And then the fight started...

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
    expensive - so I took her to a gas station...
    And then the fight started....

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion and I kept
    staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to
    drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
    hasn't been sober since.'
    'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
    that long?'
    And then the fight started...

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
    Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
    verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
    home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
    and come back later.

    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

    So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
    silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
    Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
    Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
    have gotten disability, too'

    And then the fight started.....

    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
    with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
    fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

    And then the fight started.

    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
    first."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't
    you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."
    And then the fight started.....
  2. Bocephas

    Bocephas Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    My sides are hurting.

    That's funny I don't care who you are.

  3. bigbore613

    bigbore613 Banned User Banned TS Supporters

    Jan 29, 1998
    Thats funny! Every time! Jeff
  4. Tracer

    Tracer Member

    Aug 17, 2007
  5. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Near but not in chicago
    You Barrel are a warped individual! You are most certainly on of the most politically incorrect scoundler I know! That's just one of things I like about you. LMAO
  6. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Apr 26, 2006
    The wife had just gotten home from her annual checkup. She told her husband that the doctor said that she was in excellent physical shape for her age. The husband asked, "Did he say anything about that fat a$$ of yours?"

    She answered, "No, your name was not mentioned."

    And then the fight started...
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