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The Tax Man Calls

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by twoatlow8, May 1, 2010.

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  1. twoatlow8

    twoatlow8 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2008
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    411
    The Taxman decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the Tax office.

    The taxman was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his accountant.

    The taxman said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the tax office finds that believable.'

    I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

    The taxman thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

    Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

    The taxman thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

    Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The taxman's jaw drops.

    Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

    Now the taxman can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

    Grandpa removes his false teeth and bites his good eye.

    The stunned taxman now realises he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's accountant as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

    'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

    The taxman, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old man could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

    Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much pees all over the taxman's desk.

    The taxman leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

    But Grandpa's own accountant moans and puts his head in his hands.

    'Are you okay?' the taxman asks.

    'Not really,' says the accountant. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

    Don't Mess with Old People!
     
  2. Bluzman98

    Bluzman98 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    840
    Good one........

    Jim C
     
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