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The Spoon. Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Sep 17, 2012.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Aug 27, 2007
    West Central Florida
    The spoon:

    A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

    Very Impressive!

    Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place', and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

    It seemed a little strange when the busboy brought our water and

    utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

    Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their

    When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

    'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen

    Consulting to revamp all of our procedures'.

    After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

    If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

    As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

    I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

    Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string

    hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the

    waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

    "Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant.

    That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

    By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it

    out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands,

    shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

    I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

    'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
  2. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Near but not in chicago
    Your a sick man, but then so am I!
  3. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    Army Camel..

    A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert.

    During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.

    He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.

    The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Molly The Camel.

    The Captain said, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand about the 'urges', so the camel can stay.'

    About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'.

    Crazed with passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

    Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and makes passionate love to the camel.

    When he's done, he asked the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it?'

    'No sir. They usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are."
  4. Bob Hawkes

    Bob Hawkes Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Calvin, you're as bad as Bulger. LMFO
  5. revbook

    revbook Member

    Jun 27, 2010
    I got "written up" by the moderator for a joke that wasn't half as bad as those.

    Don in PA
  6. gdbabin

    gdbabin TS Member

    May 15, 2006
    or half as good.....

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