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The Priest and the Rabbi.. Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Jan 20, 2010.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Aug 27, 2007
    West Central Florida
    Being affiliated with both religions both of these guys could have been my uncles. Bulge.

    A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

    After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”

    The Rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”

    The Priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”

    To which the Rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”

    The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

    A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”

    The Priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”

    The Rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”

    The Priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my faith.”

    The Rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.

    Finally, the Rabbi said, “Beats the sxxt out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?

  2. tad houston

    tad houston TS Member

    Dec 21, 2006

    A fellow walks into a bar,
    Notices a very large jar on the counter,
    And sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
    He guesses there must be
    More than ten thousand dollars in it.
    He approaches the bartender and asks,
    'What's with the money in the jar?'

    'Well......you pay $10 and
    If you pass three tests,
    You get all the money and
    The keys to a brand new Lexus.'

    The man certainly isn't going to pass this up.
    And so he asks, 'What are the three tests?'

    'You must pay first......
    Those are the rules,' says the bartender.

    So, after thinking it over a while,
    The man gives the bartender the $10
    And the bartender drops it into the jar.

    'Okay,' the bartender says,
    'Here's what you need to do:
    First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila,
    In a minute or less, and
    You can't make a face while doing it.

    Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.

    Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs
    Who has never had sex....
    You have to take care of that problem!'

    The man is stunned.
    'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot!
    I won't do it!
    You'd have to be nuts
    To drink a quart of tequila, and
    Then do all those other things...'

    'Your call,' says the bartender.....
    'But, your money stays where it is.'

    As time goes on, and
    The man has a few more drinks,
    He finally says,
    'Where's the damn tequila?'

    He grabs the bottle with both hands
    And drinks it as fast as he can.
    Tears stream down both cheeks...
    But he doesn't make a face, and
    He did it in fifty-eight seconds!

    Next, he staggers out the back door,
    Where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.
    Soon the people inside the bar hear
    Growling , biting, and screaming sounds....
    Then nothing but silence!

    Just when they think that
    The man surely must be dead,
    He staggers back into the bar,
    With his shirt ripped open
    And there are scratches and
    he's bleeding all over his body.

    He says,
    'Now where's that old woman
    With the bad tooth?'
  3. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Near but not in chicago
    Bulge, is noting sacred?? LOL
  4. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Aug 27, 2007
    West Central Florida
    What is sacred????
  5. 635 G

    635 G Well-Known Member

    Jun 30, 2008
    A rabbi is hired to perform high holy day services at a resort in the Catskills (the Jewish Alps). Its the day before Yom Kippur (a fast day), both the rabbi, his wife and kids are at one table-they are eating likes its their last meal on earth-devouring anything thats not moving. The waiter,ayoung man working his way thru college asks how is everything-the wife says the food is nothing but pure poison,poison,poison & the rabbis says SUCH SMALL PORTIONS-TOO

    Phil Berkowitz
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