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The greatest show on earth is at the mall

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by senior smoke, Mar 17, 2012.

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  1. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Hello:
    P.T. Barnum once per claimed that he had the "greatest show on earth", but let me assure you the greatest show on earth is free at the area mall near Milwaukee.

    The last time I was at this particular mall was in 1968, the year it was built. My wife requested that I drive her across town to this mall and it was worth the gas money, as this mall could have just as easily charged admission for this same type of show that I once saw as a child at the Wisconsin state fair.

    The last time I shopped at a mall I was half the man I am now, literally. I usually shop out of catalogs as these mall stores have regular human sizes, instead of sizes that would fit big foot.

    My wife spent a total of almost three hours shopping while I sat on a hard bench watching the sick, the lame, and the lazy walk by. I swear as every character walked by I was wondering if a bus from a traveling circus dropped off some these people.

    It started off with the mall cop stopping by and chewing the fat with me. I was expecting Paul Blart from the movie mall cop, but this young pimple faced kid was a thinner version of Barney Fife, as one of my thighs weighed more than him.

    I told him they certainly had some characters in this mall. He said they sure do, and if any of them get out of hand he will throw them out. I tried not to outwardly laugh as I suspected that this guy could not beat up a nun in a wheelchair.

    The parade that I watched started off with a young lady walking by with a tattoo written across her neck "Lydia loves Ramon", as I am thinking that Ramon is one lucky guy.

    Then a elderly man walked by who is having an argument with himself, as I must admit, people who have verbal confrontations with themselves, scare me.

    Another young gentleman parades by wearing more chains and rings than Sammy Davis Jr. in his prime. His blue jeans are three sizes to big, and he has his hand on his private parts so his pants do not fall to the ground. All I could think of was General Larry Platt's song, Pants on the ground, from American Idol fame, I started humming this song as this kid walked by and the words "lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground".

    Then a guy walked by with hair down to his shoulders, a long beard, a robe, and sandals with bare feet. As he walked by I continued to to look for his 12 apostles.

    I could go on and on but then a man around my age sat next to me on this bench and I start talking to him about the show I have been witnessing. After 10 minutes of me talking to him, he gets up and says "speak no English".

    Finally, my wife came back 2 hours and 20 minutes later, carrying no packages, as she says she could not find anything that she liked??? I put my face in my hands and she said do you want to drive me to Racine so I can look at their mall? I responded, no way in He--!
    Steve Balistreri
     
  2. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

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    Steve there are some real characters out there

    I don't understand the ones that look like they had their head in a tacklebox explosion, covered with tattoos, then get mad if you stare at them, I always figured they were looking for attention

    Like my wife told one of our DIL's friends, I don't know whether to look at you or read you, she was covered with tattoos
     
  3. Snowjet

    Snowjet Member

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    I like to set in front of Victoria's Secret.
    Bob
     
  4. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Catpower:
    That's too funny, I saw jewelry and pins inserted in every available space on their body. These younger men and women of today are more brave than I am, as just recently, I had a cavity filled and I asked my dentist to give me a double dose of morphine or whatever they use to kill pain. I saw fish hooks in eye lids, front beads of a shotgun nailed to their tongues, ouch!!
    Steve
     
  5. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

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    Steve, I don't and will never understand why they do that to their bodies, I do have three tattoos, they were put there for them to sight in the radiation machine to nuke me when I had prostate cancer

    But some of the ones that I see are gross

    And the ones that I really think are stupid are on very attractive young ladies, they call them Tramp stamps, guess they are right
     
  6. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't do that to myself but we all share this earth together.

    But still I wish I were perfect enough to sit in judgment of others but I'm not. Oh well, to each their own.

    Bill
     
  7. JPM

    JPM Member

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    There is a lot of difference between "sitting in judgment" and remarking on the incredible differences in today's culture and the culture in which most of us were raised. There is nothing judgmental about marvelling over the astonishing ways that people present themselves in public. Those kids with tats and bling look at folks like me with astonishment and wonder how someone could be so square, old fashioned, etc. And I have absolutely no worries about their "judging" me.

    JPM
     
  8. twotimer

    twotimer Member

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    Steve, last fall when you were in Hawaii, I was in Racine. The place I enjoyed most was a tour of the Kolar Factory. Jeff Mainland is a class act. Mike
     
  9. triplea

    triplea TS Member

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    Herman Munster said "there are a lot of weirdos out there!"
     
  10. Aussie Dan

    Aussie Dan Member

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    I was visiting the Dolphin mall in Miami and being a visitor I couldn't find the car park I'd parked at.

    I saw a security guard and asked him for some directions and his answer was 'sorry no English!'

    How the hell do you get that job if you can't speak to people?
     
  11. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    That ain't nuthin'. Go to a Wal-Mart at 2 AM.
     
  12. CharlieAMA

    CharlieAMA TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    No kidding Brian. Just go to Walmart anytime. The only time I go is when my wife makes me. LOL. But, I probably look weird to those people anyway. Charlie
     
  13. rautdr

    rautdr Member

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    Steve, yes the mall is good, but if you really want to see a show, take a chair and spend a couple hours by a boat landing at a busy lake on the weekend.

    Now that's entertainment!! Especially on a windy day. Dan from Wis.
     
  14. chuckie68

    chuckie68 Active Member

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    Hey guys, I was at the Dallas stars hockey game on Friday night. Nothing but classy young people with a purpose in life, enough good looking women to make an old guy GREEN with envy. Now I'm on my way back to Royal Oak, Michigan, a place where there is more GREEN spiked hair and tats than I care to look at. Tons of young people with their hand out to the gov't. Probably why Michigan is tankin' and Texas is thrivin'

    But, "Senior Smoke", I'm with you. I can only take so.....much entertainment. Then I have to go home reload and go and BLAST some clay. LOL

    Have a nice day.

    Chuck
     
  15. shot410ga

    shot410ga Well-Known Member

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    Have any of you been to a large airport lately? Strange folks fly today. When I was a young man, flying somewhere every week, all I saw were business suits and dress-to-kill ladies. Today well, like I said "strange folks" in every kind of attire ever dreamed up.
     
  16. cubancigar2000

    cubancigar2000 Well-Known Member

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    sorry to hear that about Royal Oak. Back in the 60's & 70's I visited a friend who lived there and it was a very affluent community with high dollar homes
     
  17. John 53

    John 53 Member

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    Try the web site above if you want strange but true. WARNING: I am not responsible for coffee, tea or soda spit on your computer! Do not drink between pictures.

    Have fun.

    John
     
  18. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    I am one of the most conservative people you will ever meet. With that being said, I was totally shocked to see what some of the people looked like at the mall. In all honesty, they were probably saying "look at that old fat guy" looking at us.

    It's a generation type shock. I never had a tattoo, never had a piercing or placed a spike through my tongue etc. When I was a kid my father had a tattoo, and my mother would say to me" if God wanted you to have a tattoo, you would have been born with one". Heck, I am not brave enough to withstand the pain to get one.

    Maybe someday, they will regret the tattoos and piercings, maybe not? As they were walking by, I was thinking that most kids would benefit going into the service for at least two years after high school.

    When I was drafted we had at that time so called hippies in my squad with hair down to their a--. As the drill Sergent looked on as they were getting their haircut while grinning, I wondered what type of soldier they would be. A few went to Vietnam and no one worried what length their hair was at one time or another.
    Steve
     
  19. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Mike:
    Sorry I was out of town when you came to Wisconsin. I do not know Jeff Mainland, but I knew his father Don. If Jeff is anything like his dad, he's a real good man.
    Steve
     
  20. deadnout

    deadnout Member

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    oh i thought you were talking about the st louis rams har har.
     
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