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The Female Genie

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by nukinfuts, Jan 16, 2008.

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  1. nukinfuts

    nukinfuts TS Member

    Nov 9, 2007
    The Female Genie

    While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on
    the sand & picked it up.

    Suddenly, a female Genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said,
    'Master, may I grant you one wish?'

    Osama responded, 'You ignorant, unworthy Daughter-of-a-dog!

    Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything.'

    The shocked Genie said, 'Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be
    returned to that bottle forever.'

    Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the

    impertinence of the woman and said, 'Very well, I want to awaken with three
    American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with

    The annoyed Genie said, 'So be it!' and disappeared.

    The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya
    Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side.

    His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.

    God is Good.........Nuc
  2. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Sep 14, 2007
    That was a good one, but don't send it to Denmark or you'll be on their list!
  3. hairy

    hairy TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen.

    The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks, Ess-tues me, sir?

    Yes? replies the clerk.

    Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?

    Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound.

    SSit! The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing and then asks, Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?

    Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound.

    SSIT! tas pensive, replies the tongue-tied man. Welp, how bout your pikanns?

    Pecans? They're on sale today, they're only four fifty a pound.

    Welp, Ssit. Just div me a pound of dose dhen.

    All right then, says the clerk as he begins bagging u p a pound of pecans.

    Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, Sirr, I just wanna tay tank you fo not making fun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it.

    The clerk replies with a smile. Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody. I don't know if you noticed but I have a rather large nose.

    The tongue-tied guy replies, Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your p----r since your nuts are so high.
  4. Bocephas

    Bocephas Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Little Old Lady goes on a cruise.Second morning decides to take a walk .
    After some time she stopped to rest hanging on to the rail.
    About that time a gust of wind came an hit her.
    She reached up and held on to her hat.The wind also blew her dress up.
    An Old Man watching her came up and said mam your powder puff was showing.
    She turned to him and said sir that powder puff is 84 years old,I just got this hat yesterday.

  5. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Sep 14, 2007
    Two old Trapshooters in their 90's are talking at the club. Henry says to Jed.........."Hey Jed, is it true that I heard you had married a twenty year old girl"?.........Jed responds....."Yes it's true!".............Then Henry says..."But don't you think its a little risky at your age having sex with a girl that old?".............Jed thought a moment and said...."Well, I guess it is, but if she dies, then she dies!"
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