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The Economy is so bad

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Ahab, Jul 13, 2010.

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  1. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,650
    The economy is so bad that

    .I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

    .African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

    .Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

    I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

    .CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

    .Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

    .My ATM gave me an IOU!

    .A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

    .I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

    .I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

    .If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

    .McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

    .Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

    .Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

    .My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

    .A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

    .Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

    .A picture is now only worth 200 words.

    .They renamed Wall Street "WalMart Street ."

    .When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

    .The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

    .Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

    And, finally...

    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...
     
  2. dave-320c

    dave-320c Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,324
    Ahab:

    OUTSTANDING!!!

    Dave
     
  3. dave-320c

    dave-320c Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,324
    Ahab:

    OUTSTANDING!!!

    Dave
     
  4. Trappy12

    Trappy12 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,467
    The economy is so bad my dad made off-brand Hamburger Helper for dinner. (sadly this is no joke)
    -Trappy
     
  5. Kyle Spieles

    Kyle Spieles Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2010
    Messages:
    180
    some weeks, my girlfriend and I have to decide if we go shoot or we eat. We always choose to go shoot :) It probably wouldn't hurt if I lose a few pounds anyways. ha ha.
     
  6. Ljutic111

    Ljutic111 TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,730
    Very Funny and Sadly all True .
     
  7. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    25,238
    Location:
    Deplorable Bitter Clinger in Liberal La La Land
    Sounds like Obama's vision of CHANGE! for America.
     
  8. WS-1

    WS-1 Banned User Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Messages:
    3,885
    The economy is SO BAD that

    If it took a nickel to take a trip around the world, I couldn't get out of sight.
     
  9. OGC Director

    OGC Director TS Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    I had to give up doubles.

    Rich in Indiana
     
  10. MX/MT

    MX/MT TS Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2007
    Messages:
    239
    ....if it cost a nickel to sh*t, I'd have to vomit.......
     
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