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The bear removal business. Humor.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Apr 27, 2013.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Aug 27, 2007
    West Central Florida
    A city guy just bought some acreage and a log home out in the boondocks. One day he notices that a huge bear has taken up residence on his roof. He tries to get the bear to leave, throwing rocks at him, squirting him with the garden hose, to no avail.

    He goes to the Yellow Pages. Sure enough, there is one entry under the heading Bear Removal. He calls the guy, explains his situation and the guy says he'll be right out. He shows up in the drive way in a ramshackle van with a big cage in it. He gets out and his only other equipment is a 12-guage shotgun, a pit bull, a ladder and 44 oz. baseball bat.

    Our guy is a little hesitant about this so he asks, "How long have you been doing this?"

    The Bear guy responds, "20 years."

    "How this is gonna work," the Bear guy says, "Is I'm gonna use this ladder to climb up on the roof. I'll hit the bear in the head with the bat and he'll roll off the roof. The Pit Bull is trained to grab anything that falls off the roof by the genitals on the first bounce. That will immobilize the bear and I'll put him into the cage. Got it?

    "Yeah sure," says the homeowner.

    "Good," says the Bear Guy, grabbing the ladder. "Here, take the shotgun."

    "Why? What am I supposed to do with the shotgun?"

    "If the bear knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!"
  2. cunninmp

    cunninmp Member

    Nov 15, 2008
    Great one Bulge.
  3. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Near but not in chicago
    Excellent Bulge
  4. Birddogfella

    Birddogfella Member

    Dec 23, 2010
    central Virginia
    olde pharte
  5. Urbans

    Urbans Member

    Jan 20, 2007
    Thank you!
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