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Stimulas money

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by GeezerGlide, Jan 30, 2010.

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  1. GeezerGlide

    GeezerGlide TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2010
    Messages:
    137
    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another
    'Economic Stimulus' payment.

    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using
    a Q & A format:

    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
    A . It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q. Where will the government get this money ?
    A . From taxpayers.

    Q . So the government is giving me back my own money ?
    A . Only a smidgen of it.

    Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
    A . The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q . But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
    A . Shut up.

    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U..S. economy
    by spending your stimulus check wisely:

    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to
    China or Sri Lanka .

    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China
    .
    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala
    .
    * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea
    |
    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan
    .
    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:

    1 ) Spending it at yard sales, or

    2) Going to ball games, or

    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

    4) Beer or

    5) Tattoos.

    ( These are the only American businesses still operating in the
    U.S.)

    Conclusion :

    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
    sale and drink beer all day !

    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

    Headed out to find a garage sale........nice day to all Jim
     
  2. LUGNUTZ426

    LUGNUTZ426 TS Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    855
    IF SHE DOES'NT TAKE YOU FOR THE WHOLE AMOUNT, YOU COULD BUY A JEEP (ALL ARE MADE IN USA) OR A REMINGTON 870 OR 1100. MAYBE A HENRY RIFLE TOO.
     
  3. BrowningPotato

    BrowningPotato TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2009
    Messages:
    439
    Just great!
     
  4. slipping into darkness

    slipping into darkness TS Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2008
    Messages:
    403
    I like it, no B.S. just the fact's!!! He only has to come up with 15/20 million jobs and will be on our way to recoverey??? How come all the attorneys are employed in D.C.?? at my age I have to find new friends, most think this nut is doing a Great job. was there a mind melt done when I wasn't looking.
    Please bring common sense Back..."slid"
     
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