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Some puns for your viewing.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Apr 30, 2012.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    When chemists die, they barium.


    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.



    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.


    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.


    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.


    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.


    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.


    PMS jokes aren't funny; period.


    Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.


    We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.


    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.


    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?


    When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.


    Broken pencils are pointless.

    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.


    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.


    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.


    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


    All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.


    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


    Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.


    Velcro what a rip off!


    A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.


    Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!


    The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.


    Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
  2. Rick Barker

    Rick Barker Well-Known Member

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    Good way to start the week!!!
  3. WS-1

    WS-1 Well-Known Member

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    I don't care who you are, they're GREAT!
  4. Jeff P

    Jeff P Active Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,593
    without nipples, boobs would be pointless....
  5. rpeerless

    rpeerless TS Member

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    2,352
    LOL Very Punny!
  6. Uncle Sam

    Uncle Sam Member

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    I once had a job at a submarine factory....but it went under!
  7. 2500 HD

    2500 HD Member

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    I know a one legged man that works at a brewery making hoppes!!!!!!!!
  8. 2500 HD

    2500 HD Member

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    A freind of mine started selling land mines that look like prayer rugs in the middle east, he said the prophets are going through the roof!!!!!!
  9. Jeff P

    Jeff P Active Member

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    without nipples, boobs would be pointless...
  10. BDodd

    BDodd TS Member

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    Man bought a 500 year old, very bulky and heavy French throne to add to his collection and stored it in his home constructed of nearly all glass walls. The home collapsed one day and proved the pun that those living in glass houses should not stow thrones......breakemall
  11. Jeff P

    Jeff P Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
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    1,593
    my apologies to everyone...I posted a 'pun'...the moderator removed it.

    I honestly thought the post hadn't "taken" - computer or internet glitch or whatever, and so I re-posted, not knowing the moderator had taken it down.

    The moderator took it down again, and informed me that he had taken it down the first time too. Honest mistake on my part, and I apologize.

    sorry if I offended anyone. Certainly not my intent!

    Jeff
  12. X Trap 2

    X Trap 2 TS Member

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    1,130
    Jeff....PM it to me. Ray
  13. birdogs

    birdogs TS Member

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    Evertime I scroll past this post I stop and look because I sometimes read "guns" or "buns" instead of puns - and I have deep interest in both!.
  14. Rick Barker

    Rick Barker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    6,362
    Birddogs

    Do you mean you discriminate against boobs???

    if you do, you should stay away from this site.
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