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Serious Opinion Needed Chris Teeters

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by trapshooteraa27aa, May 15, 2010.

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  1. trapshooteraa27aa

    trapshooteraa27aa Well-Known Member

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    This may be off topic but I have alot of friends that are trapshooters and I need an opinion. My girlfriend of almost 3 years passed away Tuesday the 11th. She was very young and had some issues with a family that didnt deserve her. She loved black roses that I used to get for her (had to spray paint them black) so I got one along with a card with what I wanted to say about the love I had for her and put it in the casket with her. I had a few people that said it wasnt the right thing to do! I was kinda pissed and had never heard that this was wrong. I buried her friday and put the rose with her anyway. I did have alot of friends that were there say that was the nicest thing they had ever seen and what I had wrote was pretty special. Long story short I guess I know in my heart I did what I thought was ok for someone I dearly loved. Was I wrong and did It hurt anyone?
    thanks alot Chris Teeters
     
  2. omgb

    omgb Well-Known Member

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    The right thing to do is what YOU want to do. Grief is a personal thing. Thsoe who tell you you are wrong are simply wrong themselves.
     
  3. BigM-Perazzi

    BigM-Perazzi Well-Known Member

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    It's tough to weigh the feelings of unrelated people at a time like that. As long as you weren't a stalker and were truly a loving part of her life, what you did just represented your feelings. A local youth placed a pocket knife in his fathers hand to express the bond they shared.

    At best you might have asked the family first, but, I wouldn't dwell on it. time to move on.

    Jim
     
  4. birdtracker

    birdtracker Active Member

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    sorry for your loss. Birdtracker
     
  5. TC

    TC TS Member

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    Chris, so sorry for your loss. I think you did what you needed to do. Tony
     
  6. KenC

    KenC Member

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    Sincerely sorry for your loss...

    What you did was just fine.
     
  7. Dark Horse

    Dark Horse Member

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    When my brother passed in 2006, his wife requested absolutely no flowers since he was to be cremated. She requested a donation be made to the school and/or church they attended.

    When I placed a single rose in the casket, I had one of his male in-laws come to me and ask if I had not read the request and asked that I remove the rose.

    I told him that I did read the memo but I did not think that one rose to MY brother would upset anybody.

    I then gave him my absolute promise that I would not put any flowers in his casket and if he even so much as touched that one rose, we were going to have a knock down drag out, right here in front of God and everybody. I have not heard from him since and the one single rose went with my brother.

    Funerals and flowers are for the living. It is how they show their grief and respect. You did nothing wrong by showing your love and respect in this manor. I too, am sincerely sorry for your loss. I’ve been there too.
     
  8. Limpy100

    Limpy100 Member

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    Cris being that close to her no rules apply to you.I will bet she smiled and whispered thank you.
     
  9. Borg

    Borg Member

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    Nicely done. You did what you needed to do to express your love, and to help your grieving process.

    Very sorry for your loss.

    Peter
     
  10. oldgahchamp

    oldgahchamp Active Member

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    Chris, I have been Superintendent of our local cemetery for the past 20+ years. I have been involved with a lot of deaths and burials. I have seen almost everything. You were 100% correct in what you did. Larry Evans
     
  11. drh08

    drh08 TS Member

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    First I am sorry for your loss. Your question brings a few more other questions that would need to be answered before an honest answer can be give. You were her boyfriend so I am taking the stance you weren't married. This means that her parents, then siblings and the rest of her family are the people that become the legally responsible for her upon death (unless they refuse or contact can't be made with them). You did mention that you had the funeral which I am assuming means her family wanted nothing to do with this. In that instance this is your funeral, you do what ever you think is correct to bring closure to this part of your life. I am assuming your act wasn't for other people, it was between you and her so what others think doesn't really count here.

    If however if her family was taking care of the funeral and you were a guest at it, that changes things some. If her family are the ones that do not like the rose and a note, then honestly you should have checked with them first. Not being married can muddy the waters in cases like this as you have no legal say in what happens unless those that do, give it to you.

    Again, you have my sympathy
     
  12. trapshooteraa27aa

    trapshooteraa27aa Well-Known Member

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    I want to thank everyone for your thoughts. This has been the hardest thing Ive ever had to deal with in my life. I knew in my heart that what I did was ok just needed some positive reinforcement.
    Chris Teeters
     
  13. Post  2

    Post 2 TS Member

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    There is no such thing as a black rose. I don't what you can conclude from that information but there has never been a real combination of roses budded that would produce a true black colored rose. Any suck suggestion of one is a fake. Post-2
     
  14. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Well-Known Member

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    Post-2:

    You might want to re-read the original post then delete your ignorant comment.

    sissy
     
  15. trapshooteraa27aa

    trapshooteraa27aa Well-Known Member

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    Post 2 if you bothered to read my thread you would see that I always had the florist paint thme black for her. Thanks alot for your help.
    Chris Teeters
     
  16. trapshooteraa27aa

    trapshooteraa27aa Well-Known Member

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    Sissy, Thanks you beat me to it. I hope this dope doesnt have something like this happen to him. Always has to be one.
    Chris
     
  17. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    grief is personal and what you shared with your girlfriend was also. Don't listen to anyone but your self
     
  18. Two Dogs

    Two Dogs Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for your loss big guy....
     
  19. trapshooteraa27aa

    trapshooteraa27aa Well-Known Member

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    I did forget to answer a question from a couple of you. I did mention it to the family. They had no problem with it. Was someone else. I took care of all the arangements so not just for all of that but I felt I could do what I wanted. Thanks again for all the posts and also I had several pms and I hope I replied to them all.
    Chris
     
  20. GunDr

    GunDr Well-Known Member

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    Chris, so sorry for your loss.

    Doug Braker
     
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