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Saturday's humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by porky, Jun 9, 2012.

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  1. porky

    porky TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,267
    Saturday

    After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physicalexamination, the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, Maxine, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

    "Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said.

    She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud:

    "Henry, do we still have intercourse?" And there was a hush... You could hear a pin drop.

    He answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Maxine, I told you a hundred times... What we have is...

    Blue

    Cross!
     
  2. porky

    porky TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,267
    A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.. '
    'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

    'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color
    and material imaginable. 'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from .'

    Relieved, the man asked about the types.

    The saleslady replied: 'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian,
    and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?'

    Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

    The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'

    The Catholic type supports the masses; The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills....

    Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E , F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?


    If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for,
    it is about time you became informed!

    {A} Almost Boobs.

    {B} Barely there.

    {C} Can't Complain.

    {D} Dang!

    {DD} Double dang!

    {E} Enormous!

    {F} Fake.

    {G} Get a Reduction.

    {H} Help me, I've fallen
    and I can't get up!

    They forgot the German bra.
    Holtzemfromfloppen
     
  3. slowdp

    slowdp TS Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    779
    Also forgot the West Virgina bra - "The over the shoulder boulder holder"
     
  4. Haskins Bill

    Haskins Bill TS Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2007
    Messages:
    777
    Chiropractor says to the young woman "what is a joint like this doing in nice girl like you?"
     
  5. Shoemaker

    Shoemaker Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    135
    Location:
    Missouri
    Was driving last week and seen a Church Billboard. It said "If You Want To Leave Your Sinning Ways, Come Join Us". In noticed some smaller writing below and stopped to investiate. Written in Lipstick was "If not call 555-5588"
     
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