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Rough Valentines Day for Males!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by pyrdek, Feb 9, 2011.

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  1. pyrdek

    pyrdek Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    There is no denying that this is a tough time of year for males. With Valentine's Day right around the corner, female expectations are high and many men are beginning to panic as they consider jewelry, flowers, chocolate or other such gifts. Here at the Wildlife Center, we would like to point out that although Valentine's Day may be a stressful holiday for human men, it could be worse. We do have a write up for one patient who would love some support this Valentine's Day! John Wayne Bobbitt – Common Snapping Turtle While most males, whether you are human or other can console themselves with the fact that all this trouble will eventually lead to a guaranteed night of making love, one of our patients will unfortunately never have that opportunity again. John Bobbitt was kept as a pet in a small tank with several other turtles. When he came into his teenage adolescence and discovered his ding-a-ling, he, not unlike many other teenage adolescents, improperly displayed his junk to the other turtles in the tank. His tank mates were unimpressed and his display led to a serious bite wound resulting in necrosis and infection. Ultimately, his magic wand was amputated. However, unlike his namesake, there will be no surgery to reattach his member and no dominatrix porn video contracts to help him pay his medical bills. If you can find it in your heart to feel sympathy for our own John Wayne Bobbitt, won’t you please consider sponsoring him this Valentine’s Day?

    This is just a spoof for this week, but the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center my daughter works at could use any help you may want to provide to assist with their efforts. If you are so moved, here is their address and a link to a couple of reports on a few of the other real patients at the rehab Center is listed below.

    Wildlife Rehab Center Newsletter

    You can also make a donation by check to:
    ARL Wildlife Rehabilitation Center

    6000 Verona Rd

    Verona, PA 15147
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