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Poor treat ment of terrorists...humor.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Bob Schultz, Sep 2, 2011.

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  1. Bob Schultz

    Bob Schultz Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

    Joined:
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    A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

    She received back the following reply:

    National Defence Headquarters
    MGen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT
    101 Colonel By Drive
    Ottawa,ON K1A 0K2
    Canada



    Dear Concerned Citizen,
    Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

    Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa.

    You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself; we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defence, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

    In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care.

    Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. He is 20yrs old.

    It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly
    inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.

    Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you
    described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws.

    Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.
    We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling.

    Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.

    We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group.

    He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household
    products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might
    offend him.

    Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property.

    This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.

    I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.

    Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man.

    You take good care of Ahmed and remember we'll be watching. Good luck and God bless you.

    Cordially,
     
  2. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

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    That should cure that problem ... WPT ... (YAC) ...
     
  3. The Stive

    The Stive Member

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    I like that. We should pass this idea along to Obamy and his liberal thinking
    cronies. I bet that we will soon see another government program. John
     
  4. Texshooter

    Texshooter Member

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    Thanks, Bob, that is great. More letters should go out like this to the Libs. AJ
     
  5. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

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    Thanks, I like that. Bulge.
     
  6. birdogs

    birdogs TS Member

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    One comment - I think it is more likely a "liberal" than a "libertarian". My libertarian friends would likey have a guillotine erected by the time the new housemate was delivered.
     
  7. bill1949

    bill1949 Well-Known Member

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    I like it! Wish all the bleeding hearts would read this...Bill
     
  8. ramorton

    ramorton TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Oh yes,

    Let"s send one to MRS.KEET, sounds like one his brothers. He can then discuss his liberal coward ass democrat views with that moron.

    Sincerely,

    Roy A. Morton
     
  9. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

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    Maybe they could send a couple of them to Mrskeet?
     
  10. daddiooo

    daddiooo TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Just goes to show there's a whole bunch of "problem spotters" out there but very few "problem solvers."
     
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