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PlayGirl Application (OT)

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Hauxfan, Dec 24, 2008.

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  1. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    5,091
    I sent in an application to be a Playgirl centerfold, and here is their reply to me. Hauxfan.......

    From the Executive Offices of Playgirl, Inc.

    Dear Sir: We wish to thank you for your letter and Polaroid photo which we recently received.

    We regret, however, that we will not be able to use your photo as our "Playgirl's Man of the Month".

    When rated by our AAW (Avaricious American Women) on a scale of 1-10, your body was rated a minus 2 (-2).

    The panel is comprised of widowed females ranging in ages from 50 - 75 years old who have been deprived of sexual activity for a minimum of five years.

    To confirm your below average rating, we submitted your photograph to a second panel, the HUHA (Horny Undersexed Housewives of America), whose age range from 25 - 35.
    However, we could not get them to contain their laughter long enough to rate you.

    Please be assured, that should the tastes of American women deteriorate so drastically that a body such as yours would be in demand, you will be notified.


    Meanwhile, please do not call us, we will call you.
    Sincerely, PLAYGIRL INC.

    P. S. It pains us to inform you, that had your photo been used, the staple holding our centerfold together would have completely obstructed what you refer to as your "love tool of the 21st Century".
     
  2. wireguy

    wireguy TS Member

    Joined:
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    3,715
    Must be a form letter. They sent the same one to me.
     
  3. Hydra

    Hydra TS Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
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    310
    I did not get that letter. I got the opposite one. WE WANT YOU TO BE THE CENTER FOLD MAN OF THE YEAR. YOU ARE ONE HOT DUDE. THE LADIES WILL GO NUTS FOR YOU. well I can't go through all the letter its a bit private. Just go out and keep buying the Playgirl and you will see me. I suggest you don't show the mag to youe wife or girlfriend because they will start crying once they see the truth of what they are missing in life.
     
  4. gotbass

    gotbass Member

    Joined:
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    I know that Shootlow and Hauxfan are buddies but if I were Shootlow I might be offended by the suggestion that I would be able to confirm Hauxfan's shortcomings.
     
  5. shadow

    shadow Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
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    1,445
    I attende a Playgirl photo shoot and then asked them for a set of the negatives. Reply was: "No way are we going to pay all the postage required on something that heavy". The pics werent used because they didnt want to scare young ladies or cause the mature ones to swoon into a faint.









    not
     
  6. otnot

    otnot Active Member

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    There must be a site online that would let you post your picture or was it really that bad????
     
  7. guido

    guido Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
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    Send it to Playboy, see what the results are.

    GUIDO
     
  8. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    5,091
    If the truth were known, they'd have to do a rather large pull out page just to get my endowment's in the same magazine.........lol lol

    Likes-to-shoot.........I'll talk in a deeper voice just for you.....

    Hauxfan!
     
  9. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    There is still hope Haux...I hear that the gay guys are really not picky
     
  10. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    Calvin, I really wouldn't know that...............Now please explain to TS.com how you know...............lol lol

    Hauxfan!
     
  11. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Well-Known Member

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    Hauxfan and Calvin:

    Way too much information!

    sissy
     
  12. atashooter

    atashooter Member

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    625
    Huh,... my letter just said " In order to be a centerfold you must have a wee-wee. We could simply not find yours."
     
  13. BT-100dc

    BT-100dc Active Member

    Joined:
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    Maybe the picture should have included your trap gun - gee that's a mighty fine looking gun. Darrell
     
  14. Bird30

    Bird30 TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
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    I think Shootlow is hiding as he don't want any part of this conversation HA HA HA !!!! Just my opinion.

    Dave
     
  15. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    Aha! So Shootlow, you admit you slammed the trunk of your car down on my fragile head.

    Now I know it was premeditated with knowledge afore hand.

    You also know that the rope trick didn't work on me....lol We both had the same idea at the same time, but we were both to smart for each other......lol

    As for the high squeaky voice, that only happens when I wear those tight high knee socks. I just misplace my jewels sometimes......besides, it keeps them warm in the winter time.........something a Kansas shooter wouldn't know about.................since you only have spring, summer and fall in your state............lol

    Hauxfan!
     
  16. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Hauxfan, It's not fair first the size of staples now is over the top and considering the shape your in your not in bad shape. Don't get depressed and may the Home Depot monthly is better suited for a picture of that "tool"
     
  17. gotbass

    gotbass Member

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    Some thing about not driving a spike with a tack hammer comes to mind.
     
  18. Hap MecTweaks

    Hap MecTweaks Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Mesquite, Nevada
    shootlow, you are generous to your friend it seems!!

    "Hauxfanny couldn't make out in a whore house with a seabag full of silver dollars."

    The house in question happened to be a "two-bit" house of pleasures too I heard from a reliable source!!

    A whole seabag full? :)

    Hap
     
  19. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    Hap, I'm still waiting for Shootlow to send me that seabag full of dollars.

    When he mentioned seabag, I thought he was talking about an old girl friend of his back in high school.......lol

    Hauxfan!
     
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