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Paint can

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by likes-to-shoot, Nov 13, 2010.

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  1. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    6,092
    Location:
    Iowa
    A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for an entire month.."



    The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed.



    "You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.



    "We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.



    The pastor asked him what happened.



    "Well, the first week was difficult; however , we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, or anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts.



    But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.



    "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.



    "We know," said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome at Lowes, either."
     
  2. cubancigar2000

    cubancigar2000 Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Idaho
    LOL, I read this to my wife and she is hysterical
     
  3. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
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    25,254
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    Deplorable Bitter Clinger in Liberal La La Land
  4. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2006
    Messages:
    6,092
    Location:
    Iowa
    Today's English Lesson:



    Today's word:................. "Fluctuations"


    I was at my bank today; there was a short line.



    There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to
    exchange yen for dollars.



    It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller,
    "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"



    The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."



    The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
     
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