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OT Weight Loss program for men OT

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Bubba, Oct 9, 2007.

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  1. Bubba

    Bubba Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    232
    Location:
    Baton Rouge Louisiana
    If humor upsets you don't read any further.

    Weight Loss Program for Him

    A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day,
    there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of
    the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles
    later huffng and puffing, he finally gives up.


    The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.


    On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

    He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

    The next day
    there's a knock at the door and there stands the
    most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing
    but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.

    Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does
    his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

    Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he
    has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.


    He decides to go for broke and calls
    the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program 'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'

    'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,

    'If I catch you, your ass is mine.'


    He lost 63 pounds
    that week.
     
  2. grnberetcj

    grnberetcj Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,680
    Now that's funny...I don't care who you are!!!

    But my only question: Would a Skeet Shooter gain weight?

    Curt - Delaware
     
  3. 320090T

    320090T Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,350
    Location:
    Indiana
    Wonder Diet


    Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Rover the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

    WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!!
     
  4. Uncle Sam

    Uncle Sam Member

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    Jan 6, 2006
    Messages:
    887
    Bubba......good one !!! LOL !!!.......Uncle Sam
     
  5. flinter58

    flinter58 TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    70
    the way I heard it was that the guy was crossing the street and stopped to lick his bxxxs and was hit by a bus
     
  6. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,854
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    Anybody else think that Lumper would want to get caught intentionally?
     
  7. Bubba

    Bubba Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    232
    Location:
    Baton Rouge Louisiana
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