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OT - Some workplace humor for a chuckle

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by grouper, May 17, 2007.

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  1. grouper

    grouper TS Member

    Apr 14, 2007


    The Laws of the Workplace
    A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

    Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

    The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

    You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

    Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

    When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

    If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

    There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

    Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

    To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

    Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

    Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

    If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

    You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

    People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.

    At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

    When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

    Following the rules will not get the job done.

    Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
  2. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    In many cases the people who think their Boss is dumb can thank God their Boss wasn't any smarter or to busy to notice or they wouldn't have a job ... WPT ... (YAC) ... and former Boss ...
  3. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Apr 26, 2006
    When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' --- Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

    When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt. --- Henry J. Kaiser (1882 - 1967)

    The sweat of hard work is not to be displayed. It is much more graceful to appear favored by the gods. --- Maxine Hong Kingston, The Woman Warrior, 1976

    Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.
  4. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Question - When you apply for Welfare in Mexico what does that Government give you?

    Answer - A map of the United States..........

  5. Gargoyle!

    Gargoyle! TS Member

    Apr 27, 2007
    Doing a good job here and have someone notice is like wearing a dark suit and pissing is it. It gives you a nice warm feeling but no one notices.
  6. BAD 303

    BAD 303 Active Member

    Apr 13, 2006
    There are two groups of people those that do the work and those that take the credit.I like the first group best as there is very little competition.Sooooooo true.
  7. TommyTEREX

    TommyTEREX Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Remember life is like a crap sandwitch. The more bread you have, the less crap you have to eat!

    Tom R.
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