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OT Rules of the Wild West!!

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by FarmerD, Feb 6, 2008.

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  1. FarmerD

    FarmerD TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    781
    Rules of Eastern Oregon, Eastern Washington, Idaho and the Wild West are as follows:

    1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

    2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

    3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

    4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes east and west,
    I-5 goes north and south. Pick one.

    5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

    6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

    7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

    8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. If you really want sushi and caviar you can get them at the bait store on the corner.

    9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

    10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

    11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

    12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

    13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

    14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

    15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

    16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.

    17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines than all of you put together, so don't mess with us. If you do, you'll get whipped by the best.

    18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
     
  2. Bocephas

    Bocephas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,019
    farmer how true.Most people on here don't know what a baldy calf is let alone a calf creep.

    Bo
     
  3. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,049
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Well done Farmer, even if you are politicaly incorrect lol
     
  4. BDodd

    BDodd TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,594
    One forgot is something about what a handshake represents, Eh?...Bob Dodd
     
  5. Cold Iron

    Cold Iron Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    142
    Location:
    Mn.
    This has been circulating for awhile and is usually associated with rural America in some way, or the South, Texas, etc.

    The one missing that is coming out of the North is:
    4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.
     
  6. AAtrap

    AAtrap Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2006
    Messages:
    1,549
    Location:
    Nebraska
    Don't drink down stream from the herd.
     
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