1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

OT Funny !!!!

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by BRGII, Mar 5, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Feb 26, 2008

    A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.

    He sits down and places the bag on the counter.

    The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

    The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man,

    about 9 " high and sets him on the counter.
    He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano,
    setting it on the counter as well.

    He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,
    which he places in front of the piano.

    The little man sits down at the piano,
    and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart!

    'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.

    The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.

    This time he pulls out a magic lamp.
    He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.'

    So the bartender rubs the lamp,
    and suddenly there's a gust of smoke
    and a beautiful genie is standing before him.

    'I will grant you one Wish... Just one wish...
    each person is only allowed one!'

    The bartender gets real excited.
    Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million bucks!'

    A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar.
    It is soon followed by another duck, then another.

    Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!

    The bartender turns to the man and says,
    'Y'know, I think your Genie's a little deaf.
    I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.'

    'No kidding!!' says the man,
    'do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?
  2. Jerbear

    Jerbear TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other
    for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time
    to get married.
    Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.
    Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather
    tentatively. "I would like it infrequently" she replied.
    The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"

  3. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Feb 26, 2008
    The love story of Ralph and Edna.

    Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
    doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were
    both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past
    the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He
    sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

    Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
    him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic
    act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as
    she now considered her to be mentally stable.

    When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good
    news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you
    were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the
    life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays
    sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with
    his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

    Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
    can I go home?'

    Happy Mental Health day!
  4. nspktr1

    nspktr1 TS Member

    Jul 2, 2006
    Oh my God! Heineken burns when it comes out your nose!
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.