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OT Funny !!!!

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by FarmerD, Jan 2, 2008.

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  1. FarmerD

    FarmerD TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    781
    Be Careful Out There:


    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

    We haven't used Sears repair since.


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4..25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.



    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

    From Kingman, KS

    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

    From Kansas City


    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded,
    "That's why we ask."

    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.



    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS



    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



    IDIOT SIGHTING:
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.



    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi




    STAY ALERT!

    They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE!
     
  2. nicky

    nicky Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Messages:
    283
    As told to me, a new boat owner just couldn't get the boat to run as well as promised, the boat would not come up on "plane" and just wouldn't perform. After pulling into the dock of the marina where this guy purchased the boat and telling a service person the problems they went to take a look at the boat. What the service tech found was the owner did not unload the boat from the trailer. He just backed the trailer and the boat into the water and unhooked the trailer from the truck and away he went, boat in the water with the trailer still hooked under it. Scary thing is this nut was towing this rig up the road. Like you said FarmerD look out.
     
  3. TommyTEREX

    TommyTEREX Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    495
    FarmerD, thanks LOL.

    Tom R.
     
  4. FarmerD

    FarmerD TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    781
    The half-wit


    A man owned a small farm in Oregon.

    The Oregon State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

    "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

    "Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

    The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

    Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a case of Keystone beer every Saturday night and let him go shooting on Sunday. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

    "That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit," says the agent.

    "That would be me." replied the farmer.
     
  5. Recoil Sissy

    Recoil Sissy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,647
    Three blondes are celebrating in a bar. After the first round of drinks, they cheered "51 days, 51 days, 51 days"! After the second round, they did the wave while chanting, "51 days, 51 days"! After the third round was followed by similar celebratory cheers, the bartender said, "Ok girls. What's the deal with 51 days?"

    The nearest blonde explained, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle that was labeled '2 to 4 years'. We finished it in 51 days!"
     
  6. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,796
    I will have to remember to stay out of Texas,Alabama,Kansas, and Mississippi! Its bad enough here in Alaska............If you buy something for three fox skins, they give you back one Lemming! Thats crap!
     
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