1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

OT...Darwin Awards

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by grnberetcj, Jan 17, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. grnberetcj

    grnberetcj Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,680
    What more can be said - Enjoy!

    Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least-evolved among us.And the glorious Winner for 2007 is:


    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

    And now, the Honorable Mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman ha d taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'

    9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    ******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehic le declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.

    In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family. Unless of course one of the 10 winners by chance is a distant relative, long lost friend and/or a Trapshooter. In that case be glad they are distant
     
  2. superxjeff

    superxjeff Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,781
    We had our first darwin award winner here in Portland , Oregon on New Years eve. After having a big shin dig at his house the owner started showing his "Unloaded guns" to his guests. He took an unloaded handgun and shot himself fatally in the head in the wee hours of the morning. Has to be the first of the year I would suspect.Jeff
     
  3. Little Limber

    Little Limber TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2007
    Messages:
    90
    I got fired from my first job at the pickle factory for sticking my finger in the pickle slicer. She got fired, too.

    LL
     
  4. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,796
    I would be honored to receive this award ! For those of you intelligent enough to want to know why.......read "The God Delusion", by Richard Dawkins,the celebrated Oxford professor!
     
  5. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,796
    Squibb......Your sorce for that please?
     
  6. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,796
    Thats what I thought! Creationist will say ANYTHING if it sounds good!
     
  7. grnberetcj

    grnberetcj Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,680
    Hey Hip....and who/what/etc. do you attribute our humble existence? Inquiring minds need to know.

    Thanks,

    Curt
     
  8. laura!

    laura! Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2007
    Messages:
    438
    HipShot, If you haven't already, check out www.venganza.org about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The book is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.
     
  9. tad houston

    tad houston TS Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2006
    Messages:
    477
    Well lets see if I can post a photo. These guys are gunning for the 2008 award.

    Yes that is an extention cord floating on flip flops!!
     
  10. pendennis

    pendennis Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,567
    Location:
    Southeast Michigan - O/S Detroit
    If that's a surge protector on the flip-flops, it may be safer than it looks. However, that extension cord rig on the top of the pool would be a real threat.

    That is, if this isn't a hoax pic.

    Best,
    Dennis
     
  11. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,796
    Laura.........The Flying Spaghetti Monster is discussed at some lenght in "The God Delusion"....among others!

    Trapdady..........You sure thats not Gordy and PRINCE?
     
  12. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,650
    If you are standing in a wet spot....DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING THAT HUMMS!
     
  13. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,083
    Ahab........Even if you know her first name??? lol lol

    Hauxfan!
     
  14. Hipshot 3

    Hipshot 3 TS Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,796
    Squibb.....OK...Thanks! I'll check that out. There is no way Darwin would have given God the credit for creation. His whole book was all about the exact OPPOSITE of creation.....Evolution based on natural selection! If, in fact, he DID write that, it was surely only in a desperate move to get his work published. Remember the times he lived in..........those hostile to anything and everything not based on the Supernatural[ie Religion].

    Curt........Evolution thru Natural Selection. There was NEVER any grand designs of any kind. It was all by natural elective processes guided by the laws of Physics and Chemistry ! Yes, its hard to accept, but its true!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.